Huh... If the premise is "I need a date for an event next week, will you act as my date?" then... there is not really a need to start the fake-dating the same day? ,':/a
You can use the week to let the tension grow in other ways instead of starting off with a kiss... #fanfiction

Especially if it was inapropriate to do that because of the worlds rules or the characters status. It just seems weird and rushed imo.

... but maybe that is just me. I really don't know.

omg... sorry the author of the fic I vague-tweeting about said it's happening slow I'm crying.

But I'm aware that f.e. "slowburn" means something else for everyone. So yeah. Who am I to judge?

I hate it when I feel like the Characters are portrayed illogical. I can't help it. But like... dude. Ask follow-up questions. Continue to watch to see what is happening. Also if someone asks you for help to murder someone in a subtle way then don't just answer with tips & names

Again, sorry for vague tweeting. I don't think the author will ever see that because the fandom is so very small and all I'm saying is probably fitting for thousand of fanfictions...

So in case anyone wonders, this is not about any fanfiction author who is a mutual!

Okay #writing tip: Don't let your characters have information they can't have! Of course they can come to conclusions but they need to have according information. "Let's share experience as young wifes" would first mean exactly that & not "I need your help to kill my husband"

Reading stuff like "the horse gently bit..." & getting flashbacks to the old horse-caretaker who showed you his hand with only three fingers thanks to horses biting... you know someone didn't really think this through. Horses use their lips too. When they bite it's too late.

I take that back. The character wanted to be bitten by the horse because of reason. Weird reasons. Again I think this could have been solved better.
... also I hate how much I cringe reading/listening to the fic & how much I tweet about this... I should not do that so I'll stop

Back on my bullshit but this is actually rather interesting & I want to make a point about this. We're in Chapter 13 of 33 & finally the first plotpoint is adressed again. I feel that many of these things read like they would have been better in single #fanfifiction #Writing

So, my point is, if you want to write a fairytale AU. Do that. If you want to write a crime AU. Do that. If you want to write a fake-dating AU. Do that. And yes you can mix those up. Heck, write that Little Red Riding Hood Crime AU in which the Ship has to act like a couple.

But please make it stringent. The couple has a job to do while pining for each other, maybe also saving a princess. They can't just ignore that for a week & then suddenly focus on it & meanwhile other plotpoints that have been established in the last chapters are put on pause.

I sure hope everything will come together in the end but right now... I have no idea what is going on anymore. I honestly thought that first plot was forgotten.
Also, how useful to have a character that can be used as exposition tool. Possible in this case, still lazy.

If anyone wonders why I'm still reading this fanfiction: The actual story-idea is very intriguing & I enjoy how the author breaks the fourth wall from time to time. They just basically said "the rules of fairytales apply". I do enjoy stuff like that & I want to know how it ends

It's not a bad fanfiction. The story is just all over the place. But as I said I hope it will all come together at the end.
btw they are not fake-dating anymore and it was actually never necessary. And that is what I meant with "stick to the plot you decide for or leave it"

... it's so weird. The moment I think something established in the earlier chapters will be reused... the story makes a 90° turn to another plotpoint that I thought would not be as important or at least easier to accomplish... like... cool idea but why make it so complicated?

I mean... is it really necessary to add - some kind of -dimensional travel to the fairytale-world? Again... cool idea to make different kind of tales different worlds but... why not using the possible canon? I just want to understand...

you know... it's the small things that throw me off.
Person A: "Will I use horse XYZ?"
Person B: "No, I'd rather you use a more expendable horse." A paragraph later...
Person B: "I'll prepare horse XYZ for you."
Me, the reader: You stupid fucks...

Person A: "Get in this transporter, I'll carry you."
Person C: "okay."
A paragraph later...
Person A: "Before we leave, can you fetch me this item? you just have to go all the way back to my room."
Person C: "Ugh, fine."

Me, at my wits end: But WHY?!

I'm kinda bitter... the last chapter was really good. It was on point, not all super relevant to the plot but was actually taking a fairytale-trope and putting it in an extreme, adding it to the world, using it to bring the plot forward. That was great! We could have had it all..

Again things that throw me off...
Character B: Hm... the way Character D acted is kinda weird... and they act like this since Character E is around... very... weird...
Character B: Well, not time for that right now even if my and my love interest whole happiness depends on it.

Another helpful Character: "So your one true love is in danger of being married to another person?"
Character B, after fake-dating Person A, kissing, saying I love you, doing the nasty, basically willing to give up everything: "I never said they are my one true love!"

Me: you f

Chapter 25: „The last five chapter mean nothing“

... please don‘t name your chapter like that............