okay, something truly bizarre has happened in response to this tweet. #twitterstorians, you will not BELIEVE this. (actually, you will, because you know academe and academics.) 1/n https://twitter.com/LDBurnett/status/1308186836590886912

Here I am, goofing off on Al Gore's internet, joking about Twitter beefs, pining for Lingua Franca, buying domain names for $5 just so nobody else will buy them, with all kinds of friends joking along. 2/n

I must own 20 or 30 domain names. I buy them when I think of a fun title / phrase. If I ever become a lifestyle influencer, I have several domain names with "caftan" somewhere in them. Am I ever going to use them? Very unlikely. 3/n

so last night, right after joking about creating some kind of online aggregator for academic beefs, I bought the domain name, and we all had a good time joking about what kind of content it could feature: verticals of academics cooking, recipes, 18th-century writing, etc 4/n

So this morning, one of my friends pings me via DM and says they got an anonymous voicemail left on their work phone asking them why they were "cooperating with LD Burnett on a website that will ruin people's careers."

ARE YOU FUCKING *KIDDING* ME?
5/n

Who in the world who knows me via what I write on this website -- NEVER MIND IN REAL LIFE -- would conclude that I had an interest in ruining someone's academic career via anonymously sourced gossip or via any other means? 6/n

If you know ANYTHING about me, if you've read ANYTHING I've written, you know that's not me.

First, I am a decent person. Snarky, but decent.

But also...

Bitch, if I thought somebody's career needed ruining, I'd do it right out in the open, cite sources and name names.

7/n

I find it hilarious -- sick, maybe a little paranoid, but also hilarious -- that someone saw all this good-humored joking about the academic grapevine and academic gossip, and their first response was...TO LEAVE AN ANONYMOUS VOICEMAIL questioning someone's integrity. 8/n

You know you're a caricature, right? You know you're the reason Lingua Franca existed in the first place, right?

Whoever you are, get over yourself. If anybody's reputation would be ruined by a real http://academicbeefs.com , it would surely be mine.

9/n

And here's the thing: you know that. Because you left a voicemail. You left receipts. If somebody wanted to wreck your career, they could just post an .mp4 of your voicemail message and we could all play a guessing game: "Whose paranoid busybody colleague is this?"

10/n

If you are an academic, and your first response to academic chatter on Twitter is to start leaving anonymous messages attacking the people who are joking around, you are a cartoon. And you won't need any help ruining your career; you'll do it on your own

Seriously, GTFOH

11/11