Anyway, before I log out. Let me tell you about the one time my uncle Geoffrey came to visit with his girlfriend Sarah Headrick from Mississipi. They had moved in together, and had wanted to introduce her to my grandparents. It ended in tears for everybody. And I mean everybody.

I personally knew something was wrong when they passed by our house & there was a goat with headphones in the backseat. Geoffrey wanted us to leave the goat behind as we went for a tour in the park when Sarah started crying. We left the goat anyway. Goat didn't seem to mind

So anyway, Sarah's still crying, calling the goat "baby" & what not. We ask her what's the name of the goat to make her feel better. She says "Eric". She starts scrolling through her phone showing us pictures of Eric as a baby. On his birthday. With other food.

When we get to the park, together with other visitors, we are bundled into the tour van. Off we go into the game reserve. We are not half-way in, when Sarah sees a deer and bursts out screaming. Geoffrey holds her, tells her it's alright. Eric is in good hands. Me and my cousin

We get to a camp. Sarah seems to have gotten over her pain. Everybody's chilled, doing soft drinks. She's scanning around when she comes running, shouting with joy for us to come see a giraffe. Everybody in the camp runs towards her,. We get there, and its a fucking ostrich

I tell Geoffrey if we stay there longer, her white girlfriend will only embarrass more. We head home, wake up tomorrow, head to grandpas with Eric strapped to his seat. Sarah'd ask us to tickle him after every 5kms. You don't want to be in a position where you have to tickle food

We are welcomed by granny and pops. And we have breakfast. In our culture, gifts are presented immediately after breakfast. Granny had informed some of her friends, they were there to see her white daughter-in-law. So it's time for gift presentation and we are seated waiting.

Sarah stands up, says she brought the old ones a special gift. She goes to the car, and gets eric. But with her, is also a tiny piano & a tiny stool. At that point, my head is screaming "NO SARAH, NO!!!" The problem is even Geoffrey did not know. She'd told him it was a surprise.

Brothers and sisters, Sarah sits Eric on the stool, holds the piano in front of his goat hooves, and starts singing "The Gambler" with Eric bleating the high note & drumming the living daylights out of piano keys. Then it ended & they high-fived. That was the present...

Long story short, Geoffrey is still single today. They woke up the next day to find Eric limping. He had slept in Grandmas house as it was bigger. Grandma said he fell from the bed while dreaming. Sarah was not buying it. Told Geoffrey his people wanted to kill her baby. Tears.