Read on Twitter
FPL STATS OF SHITHOUSERY ππππ πππ‘π
ππππ ππ πππ ππππ
GW II
Which players made it an XI so shite, so terrible, so fucking futile that they would have scored less between them than even my 6.44m ranked team.
Dive in. State of these pricks.
ππππ ππ πππ ππππ
GW II
Which players made it an XI so shite, so terrible, so fucking futile that they would have scored less between them than even my 6.44m ranked team.
Dive in. State of these pricks.
McCarthy β 4.5 β SOU
Itβs probably unfair to blame a keeper for his manager insisting his team play a line so high, Sergey Bubka would struggle to reach it. But this was still a wretched performance from McCarthy who made yet another error and let every shot on goal in his net.
Itβs probably unfair to blame a keeper for his manager insisting his team play a line so high, Sergey Bubka would struggle to reach it. But this was still a wretched performance from McCarthy who made yet another error and let every shot on goal in his net.
With both Gunn and Forster back at the club, the Saints stopped is surely in last chance saloon.
Southampton look absolutely awful defensively and avoiding those assets is probably the only safe advice you can give to anyone, in what has been a topsy-turvy start to proceedings.
Southampton look absolutely awful defensively and avoiding those assets is probably the only safe advice you can give to anyone, in what has been a topsy-turvy start to proceedings.
Maguire β 5.5 β MUN
A performance so bad heβs lucky to not be locked up for it. Man Utd were poor from top to bottom but Maguire set the tempo by showing the distribution of a blind mole and the leadership of Richard III. Heβs not even worth me typing any more. Utter dickwad.
A performance so bad heβs lucky to not be locked up for it. Man Utd were poor from top to bottom but Maguire set the tempo by showing the distribution of a blind mole and the leadership of Richard III. Heβs not even worth me typing any more. Utter dickwad.
Lewis β 4.5 β NEW
Distribution of sub 80%, only half of all tackles and headers won, zero blocks⦠Lewis is a defender who is great going forward but when attacked just folds like a pack of cards.
Almost as if he used to play for...
**checks notes**
...fucking Norwich.
Distribution of sub 80%, only half of all tackles and headers won, zero blocks⦠Lewis is a defender who is great going forward but when attacked just folds like a pack of cards.
Almost as if he used to play for...
**checks notes**
...fucking Norwich.
Pieters β 4.5 β BUR
Pieters was on the pitch for 50 minutes against Leicester. In that time he managed to concede 3 goals, one of which he scored himself. He completed 5 passed at a rate of barely 50%. He made zero tackles, blocks, interceptions or clearances.
Pray for @FPLNym
Pieters was on the pitch for 50 minutes against Leicester. In that time he managed to concede 3 goals, one of which he scored himself. He completed 5 passed at a rate of barely 50%. He made zero tackles, blocks, interceptions or clearances.
Pray for @FPLNym
Gibbs β 4.5 β WBA
West Brom are going to struggle with 11 men let alone 10. Gibbsβ Kangaroo impression meant that the Baggies had to defend a man down against a rampant Everton.
They did so with all the competence of the a little pig who built his house with fucking straw.
West Brom are going to struggle with 11 men let alone 10. Gibbsβ Kangaroo impression meant that the Baggies had to defend a man down against a rampant Everton.
They did so with all the competence of the a little pig who built his house with fucking straw.
Jorginho β 5.0 β CHE
An 80% pass competition rate is, by the standards of a man who makes 6 yard passes an art form, an absolute nightmare. The Chelsea midfield were dominated in this match even before the sending off. They have started the season poorly, lucky to win in GW1.
An 80% pass competition rate is, by the standards of a man who makes 6 yard passes an art form, an absolute nightmare. The Chelsea midfield were dominated in this match even before the sending off. They have started the season poorly, lucky to win in GW1.
Jorginho was frozen out for much of the last campaign, so itβs strange to see him back in the frame at the start of this one. Missing a penalty and generally wandering around like a lost lamb, all his limitations were exposed by players who are just simplyβ¦ better than he is.
Lundstram - 5.5 - SHU
Back to back defeats for the Blades and whilst Egan got sent off, Lundstram probably should have been; and then capped off his wretched night with a missed penalty.
He's not the messiah, he's just a very naughty boy.
Back to back defeats for the Blades and whilst Egan got sent off, Lundstram probably should have been; and then capped off his wretched night with a missed penalty.
He's not the messiah, he's just a very naughty boy.
Pogba β 8.0 β MUN
A fucking car crash of a showing, Pogba stank up the pitch for 67 miserable minutes before replaced by a man who should start in his stead next week. Creating nothing, stopping nothing, offering nothing. Like watching a lumbering walrus on a downhill ice slope.
A fucking car crash of a showing, Pogba stank up the pitch for 67 miserable minutes before replaced by a man who should start in his stead next week. Creating nothing, stopping nothing, offering nothing. Like watching a lumbering walrus on a downhill ice slope.
Soucek β 5.0 β WHU
Okay so we all know Soucek has the potential to be a fine FPL asset. Saturday again proved that with 4 touches in the box and two decent attempts.
But has anyone asked whether if he can, you know, actually do his bloody day job.
Okay so we all know Soucek has the potential to be a fine FPL asset. Saturday again proved that with 4 touches in the box and two decent attempts.
But has anyone asked whether if he can, you know, actually do his bloody day job.
He is playing central midfield yet canβt pass (68% completion). He doesnβt create anything, he won just 25% of his aerial duels, and made just a solitary tackle with zero interceptions or blocks.
Heβs basically just the Czech Marouane Fellaini.
Heβs basically just the Czech Marouane Fellaini.
Adams β 5.9 β SOU
4 attempts, all in the box, all missed. There is a deep and bitter irony here that thus far this season, Che Adams is doing his best Calvert-Lewin impression whilst the latter appears to have made love to the entire luck of the Irish.
Needs a fucking miracle.
4 attempts, all in the box, all missed. There is a deep and bitter irony here that thus far this season, Che Adams is doing his best Calvert-Lewin impression whilst the latter appears to have made love to the entire luck of the Irish.
Needs a fucking miracle.
Wilson β 6.5 β NEW
5 completed passes, 20 touches, 1 big chance - utterly spooned off target. This was the Wilson we knew and loved.
Remember. He has only scored one career EPL goal in the North of England.
State of this heat map, less public appearances than Boris Johnson.
5 completed passes, 20 touches, 1 big chance - utterly spooned off target. This was the Wilson we knew and loved.
Remember. He has only scored one career EPL goal in the North of England.
State of this heat map, less public appearances than Boris Johnson.
Right I'm off to forget about this ridiculous game for a few days. Stay safe, enjoy yourselves, don't listen to any bollocks and just copy @eggandcustard FPL's team.
Happy Hunting
HM
Happy Hunting
HM
