So in this essay I will...use gifs of Black comedians to look into a portion of my current prayer life a la a spiritual leap I took that‘s benefitted me vastly.

(Faith is a weird thing for me to talk about online. But I’ve been getting so much spiritual confirmation lately. So let’s go!)

Me: *praying on a thing, thinking I already know the answer* hey Lord, how you? I’m about to make this major decision. It’s good, right?

God: nah

Me: wym

God: girl, no.

Me: ok but what if I do it anyway?

God: Chiiile, I’ll still love you. That ain’t gone change.

Me: great! *finna do it anyway*

God: *ethereal sigh*

Me: wait. Lord are you for real? I think this my anxiety. Imma need a sign.

God: *sends a sign while I’m in conversation with @MoonsAtDusk * I get a random accidental text from someone telling me to come home*

Me: *starting at the bargaining stage of grief* hey Lord, me again. Thanks for the sign, twas real clear, but I was wondering...

God:

Me: ...if I can just have this thing. Because I want it. And I should have what I want.

God: you don’t really want this thing. Not here, trust me. Go to Chicago.

Me: well imma do it anyway and suffer whatever comes bc I know what I want

INTERMISSION for a Leslie David Baker cameo as my team of ancestors and/or angels reacting in the background. (The Stanley Hudson character did so much for comedy. I have no choice but to stan a Chicago legend.)

WE BACK

God: ‘memba when
@MoonsAtDusk said you should stop making decisions you have to recover from? This is good practice. Try it!

Me: yikes, a read.

God:

Me: *goes back to Chicago reluctantly*

God: aight so boom let me show you some things real quick

Me: *enters a full week of external confirmation about my choice*week ends with me getting something WAY better than I remotely imagined*

FIN. My lil lesson: even in my stubbornness, my willingness to suffer dumb causes, I committed to cultivating that part of myself that higher than myself & it never steers me wrong. I experimented with quite a few practices but Jesus was the one that worked and works consistently