Yesterday I got my 5th COVID test in the space of 7 months here in Melb, and I wanted to share how vastly different this 5th test was with the other 4!

First of all - I’ve had 5 tests bc my immune system is weak and I tend to pick up every little thing I’m exposed to. Couple that with living in a coronavirus hotspot for 6 of the last 7 months, and being strongly encouraged to get a test for any relevant symptoms, however minor..

All 5 times have been at the same drive through shopping centre. The first 4 involved a nurse asking for sparse details from outside my car and writing it down on paper. Questions were limited to basic personal details.

Y’day, two nurses took my details together, one writing on paper and one into an iPad. Bc there were two of them, they picked up when one got my name wrong and the other my DOB wrong (masks + cars + social distance make hearing hard!). This wouldn’t have been noticed before!

The nurse putting my details into the iPad asked questions like ‘how many people do you live with?’, ‘do you have a regular doctor or practice we can contact?’, ‘can we connect this information to your MyHealth Record?’. Amazing.

‘Do you speak English at home?’, ‘Do you need help understanding information?’, ‘Are you Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander?’

And repeatedly, ‘Are you okay with us sharing this information with the department of health?’

One of the nurses told me that if I needed to, I could get a certificate for work and there were payments available to me if I couldn’t afford to isolate from work otherwise. Incredible.

The test itself was the same. The first one I got they didn’t leave the swab in my nose for long, but they shortly changed that and have been doing the 10 second brain-stab of pain all the other times (if I can manage it - you can too).

But the doctor doing the test (they were ID as a doctor) told me exactly what would happen next:
- you will get a text very shortly
- if you are positive, you’ll receive a phone call. The call will say it’s from the DHHS on your screen. Important you answer it bc they will help.

The other times everyone has been very polite and kind and efficient but the non-test infrastructure was essentially just writing my details (potentially incorrectly?) on paper and then sending me off into the sunset after being swabbed

And would you look at that: in the time it took me to start this thread, braid my kid’s hair, make a coffee and finish this thread - I’ve got my results! Hurray!

(Unfortunately I am still poorly so it’s the bed for me)

In conclusion, I’m extremely glad that Melbourne has sorted out its testing procedures because watching workers scribble my details onto paper to be put onto a pile of forms on a fold-out desk in an undercover carpark made me scream inside my heart.

Go Melbourne, Go!