My unsolicited thoughts about the Old Testament prophet Elisha, the 42 children that made fun of him for being bald, and the 2 She bears he sent to massacre ALL OF THE CHILDREN...

Surprisingly I think about this story often. I feel pretty strongly that when the bears showed up it really surprised the kids but there’s no way 2 bears tore 42 children apart IN THAT EXACT MOMENT. I think most of the kids got away... or at least they thought they did...

Maybe the bears were able to get like 10 kids in the moment but that leaves 32 more children who took off running and probably made it home. Maybe some historian got the number wrong and just meant ‘a lot of kids’ but the Bible says 42 and that’s a uniquely precise number...

I feel confident assuming that the remaining 32 children didn’t all live together... which leads me to believe that for the next several days the she bears hunted down these kids one by one...

Can you imagine? It’s been 3 days since you saw 10 of your friends get ripped apart for calling an adult bald.

Tucked between your loving parents you head to your first of many therapy appointments in the bustling city center of Bethel.

And then you see her...

Or it’s been 2 weeks and not only did you see 10 children get mauled to death but your closest friends have started dying in gruesome ways.

Your brother wishes you a good night and puts out the lamp. You close your eyes and try to forget it all.

And then you hear her...

But the worst is to be child 42. ALL of your friends have been murdered and torn apart. You’re the new kid in town... you just went along with what all the guys were doing.

Your parents send you away to live with your grandparents thinking it’ll help...

What about the bears? Bears don’t naturally hunt classrooms of children. These she bears probs have cubs that need to be fed and protected yet they’re being forced by some inexplicable power to massacre children. THEY DONT WANT TO DO THIS! No one is winning here... except 1 guy

And now you’re child 42. You’ve traveled for weeks and even though you’re still shaken up you’re finding joy in reconnecting with your grandparents. They own a small farm and you all bond over the daily chores. Memaw calls you outside for after-dinner dessert with grandpa...

And then you see them...

Memaw doesn’t waste a moment and rushes you inside as grandpa picks up an ax and attempts to scare the tired she bears away.

Grandpa’s yells briefly become high pitched and then instantly cut off...

Grandma stuffs you in the closet, begs you to be silent and promises you’ll be ok. Even though you try to get her to join you she firmly and lovingly shoves you inside and INSTANTLY GETS YANKED AWAY!

Her guttural screams end just as quickly as grandpa’s

Terrified, you slip a letter to your family out of your pocket and into the corner of the closet. You wrote it a month ago. You never meant to hurt anyone. You realize your legacy is as pathetic as the prophet you mocked. *silence*

And then you feel her...