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Important thread on psychological self defense:
Abusers, psychopaths & narcissists - when they are in trouble - can often make a good empath feel sorry for them. Most abusers are damaged by their own wounds and past hurt or abuse. So....
Abusers, psychopaths & narcissists - when they are in trouble - can often make a good empath feel sorry for them. Most abusers are damaged by their own wounds and past hurt or abuse. So....
2/?
So ....if you’re ever tempted to feel for someone even after they’ve hurt you or tried to manipulate & abuse you, This is proof that you have more empathy than they do and you’re not a psychopath like them. So this empathy is to your credit!
So ....if you’re ever tempted to feel for someone even after they’ve hurt you or tried to manipulate & abuse you, This is proof that you have more empathy than they do and you’re not a psychopath like them. So this empathy is to your credit!
3/?
Nevertheless I must urge you to guard yourself against it if there’s even a remote chance a part of you could let your guard down and be deceived or persuaded to become accessible again to such people.
Nevertheless I must urge you to guard yourself against it if there’s even a remote chance a part of you could let your guard down and be deceived or persuaded to become accessible again to such people.
4/?
We can allow our pity for others sometimes to be something like Stockholm syndrome that keeps us attached even to the wounded damaged people who have hurt us, in a trauma bond. I’ve done it too.
We can allow our pity for others sometimes to be something like Stockholm syndrome that keeps us attached even to the wounded damaged people who have hurt us, in a trauma bond. I’ve done it too.
5/?
Here’s my advice: save your pity for later. It’s not wrong to feel in your heart but do not act on it. Be unrelenting in firm resolve to not soften in sympathy towards them if there’s even a remote chance that they could use this to gain access to you and hurt you again.
Here’s my advice: save your pity for later. It’s not wrong to feel in your heart but do not act on it. Be unrelenting in firm resolve to not soften in sympathy towards them if there’s even a remote chance that they could use this to gain access to you and hurt you again.
6/?
You can feel all of the kindness in your heart but in your actions choose strong hard boundaries. Because people who have shown willingness to hurt you without remorse absolutely can and will do that again if they get the opportunity.
You can feel all of the kindness in your heart but in your actions choose strong hard boundaries. Because people who have shown willingness to hurt you without remorse absolutely can and will do that again if they get the opportunity.
7/?
If they only show gentleness & love toward you when they’re afraid of losing you or when they are scared or in trouble, you can count on them taking advantage of and abusing you if they no longer have those fears. Make sure they are far away from you & can’t touch you!
If they only show gentleness & love toward you when they’re afraid of losing you or when they are scared or in trouble, you can count on them taking advantage of and abusing you if they no longer have those fears. Make sure they are far away from you & can’t touch you!
8/?
And by far away I mean faaaarrrrr- like in another country or in jail or another dimension or some such. Don’t let them into your head especially if they are prone to using deception & charm to trick you. Warn your family & friends too. And law enforcement - if warranted.
And by far away I mean faaaarrrrr- like in another country or in jail or another dimension or some such. Don’t let them into your head especially if they are prone to using deception & charm to trick you. Warn your family & friends too. And law enforcement - if warranted.
9/?
Then and only then give yourself permission to look back later and feel pity and sympathy for them and soften your heart about what happened to them that caused them to be such cruel & harmful people.
Be tough in your Actions even if you are a loving and gentle heart.
Then and only then give yourself permission to look back later and feel pity and sympathy for them and soften your heart about what happened to them that caused them to be such cruel & harmful people.
Be tough in your Actions even if you are a loving and gentle heart.
10/?
Remember that part of being a loving & gentle person is not allowing people license to do harm to others.
Not standing up to them is like giving implicit permission to them to harm again - perhaps even someone more vulnerable & innocent than you.
Remember that part of being a loving & gentle person is not allowing people license to do harm to others.
Not standing up to them is like giving implicit permission to them to harm again - perhaps even someone more vulnerable & innocent than you.
11/?
So hang in there, stand tall. Be ferocious in your compassion, fierce in your kindness by refusing to give even an inch to people who have exploited you, weakened you, & messed you up. They’d do it again.
So hang in there, stand tall. Be ferocious in your compassion, fierce in your kindness by refusing to give even an inch to people who have exploited you, weakened you, & messed you up. They’d do it again.
12/?
Never let abusers use charm, guilt or pretense of affection as manipulation/deception, playing on your sympathies to erode the hard & fast line of self protection. Some day, look back& feel sad for them.
Yet - Now?
Don’t let them Weaponize your healing heart against you
Never let abusers use charm, guilt or pretense of affection as manipulation/deception, playing on your sympathies to erode the hard & fast line of self protection. Some day, look back& feel sad for them.
Yet - Now?
Don’t let them Weaponize your healing heart against you
@threaderapp please compile
