FALL GUYS GAMES RANKED FROM WORST TO BEST, A DEFINITIVE RANKING

25.) Egg Scramble, one of the two games which is actually just completely flawed in concept

The problem with Egg Scramble is that it's three teams competing, with the worst team getting eliminated. Which means everybody quickly figured out that the incentive is for the two better teams to gang up on the weakest team as quickly as possible.

So once the eggs have all been stolen, the two teams with more eggs will start ganging up on the weakest team. It's boring, and what's worse, any reasonably competent player can make stealing eggs back nearly impossible. One of the rare Fall Guys games where tweaks won't help.

24. Hoarders. Same gang-up incentives as Egg Scramble, which make the game bad. But at least it's not impossible to steal balls away.

23.) Royal Fumble. All of the tail tag games are some of the weaker games in FALL GUYS, but Royal Fumble is the weakest by far simply because there's one tail and usually about 6-8 players competing for it. The other tail tag games at least have fun chaos going for them.

22.) Perfect Match. It's advertised as a "logic" game, but logic implies some sort of deduction, and Perfect Match is just a memory game of remembering where all the fruit spaces are. It's stupefyingly easy as challenges go, and boring.

I generally spend it seeing how many times I can make my Fall Guy go "woo woo woo," just to kill time. That also invites other players to play the Perfect Match metagame, which is "try to shove other players into the slime if they're very bad at the game."

21.) Rock N' Roll. The least offensive of the three "three teams compete" games - mostly because the objective is a little more indirect than in the other two - but still has the same general incentive problems, and feels counterintuitive to boot.

It's just sort of annoying that the most important strategy in Rock N' Roll isn't "roll your ball better" but "rush ahead so you can get in the way of the other teams' balls."

(At this point we've gotten past all the games that are actually just not fun, which is pretty good considering how many are left.)

20.) Team Tail Tag. Technically because it's a multi-team game it has the same incentive issues that other multi-team games do.

But in practice, it's so chaotic that there's no real ability to identify the weakest team and gang up on them, particularly considering how fast tails get stolen.

It's not a strong game, but it's not boring or unfun either.

19.) Tail Tag. The same level of chaos as Team Tail Tag, but you're not relying on other players to win or lose - it's just on you, which feels more satisfying overall. Even if the tail tag hit detection feels awfully loosey-goosey at times.

18.) Fruit Chute. Race games in FALL GUYS are generally the best games as a rule, but Fruit Chute is the weakest simply because at times it gets so, so random; sometimes three pieces of giant fruit come at you and there's no ability to dodge and that's it, you're boned.

Basically, FALL GUYS games work best when the primary objective is other idiots randomly getting in your way. You don't need the game getting in your way for you.

17.) Fall Ball. As team games go, it's not unfair or improperly designed.

It's just much harder than it looks, and since there's no control over teams, whoever has the best team will win every time, and it feels like luck of the draw more often than not.

16.) Tip Toe. In practice, this game just becomes a violent shoving match towards the end, because everybody quickly figured out the way to progress in this game was to have other people "identify" the false positives for you and then jump to safety.

To be clear, Tip Toe is still a lot of fun. It just doesn't exactly do what it says on the box, if that makes any sense.

15.) Block Party. I rate this one lower than a lot of people do, mostly because it's actually very easy most of the time. Block Party eliminations are generally other players trying to shove you out, or when you jump over a bar and have a bad landing and can't recover in time.

Block Party is the other major game where I spend the entire game trying to beat my record for most completed "woo woo woo" taunts, which is currently at 13.

14.) Hoopsie Daisy. There's no way for the two leading teams to sabotage the third team in this game, which automatically makes it much better than most of the other team games, and it's mostly a skill-based game but not too difficult.

The only complaint I have with Hoopsie Daisy are the occasional appearance of those golden hoops which are worth five hoops each, which are just unbalancing.

Biden 2020: Get Rid Of The Golden Hoops

13.) Roll Out. Relatively easy, but it's not as easy as Block Party is - you really have to keep moving all the time - and navigating the obstacles and other players at the same time is challenging enough that it never gets boring.

12.) Door Dash. I sort of dislike how luck-based this challenge is (all the moreso since the update when the pattern was randomized). It boils down to letting other people go ahead of you, using them to find out which door is real, and then rushing to take advantage.

To be clear, that's fine and the race is a heap of fun. It just feels like it's working at cross-purposes to have a race game where you win by letting people go first.

11.) Fall Mountain. By far the easiest of the final games, and one of the easiest races overall - which means that whoever's in first rank at the start of the game is dramatically more likely to win the crown than the other players are.

Let me put it this way: all but one of my crown wins in FALL GUYS have been via Fall Mountain.

10.) Jump Showdown. Other than occasional eliminations of players trapped on distant falling floor sections - which sucks - this one is a pure skill contest, and that's great. It's just that at a certain point you're waiting for someone to make a mistake (which is less great).

9.) Jump Club. Like Jump Showdown, but because it's an intermediate game it lasts for less time, which actually makes it more fun.

8.) Jinxed. I rank this one a lot higher than most other players do, but as team games go it's the absolute best - skill-based, but on a level that isn't difficult, and given that it's literally just tag, it works so very well.

7.) See Saw. It can be brutally hard and sometimes unfair, but I like the inherent challenge of it and the strategies of taking advantage of hard work other players did for you. It's never less than exciting.

6.) Hit Parade. Just a great race game overall, which gets surprisingly unforgiving right at the end.

5.) Gate Crash. Was improved a lot by the recent randomization patch so now the gate patterns are less predictable, which means observing them as you run forward becomes more important. Great game.

4.) Dizzy Heights. The ball launchers can be annoying (why, when the balls sometimes get launched into the air, do they not bounce?) but those spiral tracks are so satisfying to navigate that it more than equals out.

3.) The Whirlygig. The best "pure" race map because it allows for risk/reward strategies at several points during the race - do you go for the faster/riskier move to advance faster or just use the safer, slower route? Great level design overall.

2.) Slime Climb. Has the same risk/reward elements as Whirlygig (especially the jump pictured here, which can either win you the race or eliminate you depending on your luck), but in a meaner, more concentrated way with player elimination. Never not thrilling.

1.) Hex-A-Gone. Of course it's the number one slot, it's Hex-A-Gone. Brilliant game design here, tons of strategies, brutally difficult, completely interactive. I have never won Hex-A-Gone and whenever I get to final stage I hope for Hex-A-Gone. It's just that much fun.