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from my exploration of the bottega veneta website i have concluded without suprise that the very rich have no taste, a disturbing predilection for wearing the skin of dead animals, and that we should confiscate all their excess disposable income forthwith
dead animal parkas for that sexc furry feeling (the cheapest is $8.5k, the others are 50% more than that
a uniqlo vest only (and i'm not even kidding) 70 times more expensive
$700 worth of cashmere and i still don't have enough to cover my nips 
(this is less heinous than it is hilarious but also pls just,,, don't)
(this is less heinous than it is hilarious but also pls just,,, don't)
the one (1) thing i have found that i have liked so far oh wait IT COSTS EIGHTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS
hey look, it's the cheapest piece of menswear in the store, a black cotton tee!
it costs $350, because it's "new for Pre-Fall 2019, which focuses on an ELEVATED REALITY OF DRESSING" [emphasis my own]
![hey look, it's the cheapest piece of menswear in the store, a black cotton tee!it costs $350, because it's "new for Pre-Fall 2019, which focuses on an ELEVATED REALITY OF DRESSING" [emphasis my own]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EicSbaLXcAA1FVd.png "hey look, it's the cheapest piece of menswear in the store, a black cotton tee!it costs $350, because it's \"new for Pre-Fall 2019, which focuses on an ELEVATED REALITY OF DRESSING\" [emphasis my own]")
it costs $350, because it's "new for Pre-Fall 2019, which focuses on an ELEVATED REALITY OF DRESSING" [emphasis my own]
are you missing the irresistible musk of ballsweat in your life? why not purchase this pair of LAMINATED JEANS and become the ken doll you always knew you could be!! they're $1,100 and tbh it's all in the quality of the plastic coating
if that's not quite sweaty enough for you/if you want to look like a plumber out on a jolly, there's always this sweet nylon number (with quilted pockets to keep your butt extra damp) -- $1500
ah yes, dungarees. a tongue in cheek reference to the extroardinary concept of working! with one's hands! for a living! how quaint! 
made all the more piquant by the fact that you've spent more than a working man's monthly wage on them
made all the more piquant by the fact that you've spent more than a working man's monthly wage on them
did you dream of being airforce pilot before daddy bought your way into harvard? well never fear, now you can bring those dreams back to life /without/ the risk of death or meeting any pesky poors with this fashionable jumpsuit!!
For a mere $1900 you too can wear 100% polyester!
For a mere $1900 you too can wear 100% polyester!
One of these costs $165. The other t w e n t y times more. (But it has handle detailing and optionally opening sides!) (The poors won't notice, you'll still blend in, that'sa a bottega veneta promise)
now for some quilted calf's leather shorts -- extra protection for when i see you wearing these in the street and come kick you in the balls
$4,300, but really you should pair them with the matching bomber ($6000) for when i punch you in the solar plexus right after!
$4,300, but really you should pair them with the matching bomber ($6000) for when i punch you in the solar plexus right after!
