There are many people with commitment issues that don’t know what they have is commitment issues.
You’re so used to the functionality and structure of your life that if someone shows up and wants to include you in their plans you automatically choose flight.

“Why can it just remain as is”
“Why do we have to now start making such big plans”

The feeling of overwhelm & stress starts to creep in.

It happens even if you’re genuinely into this person & want to be with them.
People tend to think oh once there is that,all of this vanishes.

If it doesn’t vanish then you don’t really like me or want me in your life.
This is not true.

I can want you and still have commitment issues.
The effects of my commitment issues can be very loud even if I want you.

The idea of Omg we’re official can give cardiac arrest.

Commitment issues and being afraid of my life changing so much literally plays out like this.

I’m so comfortable that even a slight tipping of the balance would send me into flight mode.

I’ll begin to come up with reasons why you’re not a good match and why it’s pointless.

Even if my whole brain and chest is smitten by you.

Add this to people who genuinely like being alone and the silence of their company, it’s hard.

On any given day I’ll pick my aloneness than u sharing my space.

Like it’s so bad that even regular platonic visits are stressful.

I have to mentally prepare for it.
I’m not one of those people you can call and go I’m on my way to your house without prior notice.

I’ll automatically be out of my house even if I’m not.

I recognize how hard it can be for my friends sometimes.
But they understand me.

They understand that it doesn’t mean I don’t love them or want them around.

They just know that I’m better with being told ahead of time so they do it because then my mind is ready.
Even sit in silence with me.

Now imagine having a partner who never understands this thing.

A partner who constantly feels we need to be talking all the time when we’re in the same space, a partner who wants to be in my space 24/7 from the jump.
Instead of ease into it.

It might be cute for some people and that’s ok.
But for some people it’s not, it’s exhausting.

For people who have commitment issues, being afraid of change & bask in their aloneness, it’s important that you come willing to understand, to make room for them to slowly ease into it.

You have to learn that it’s not everybody that the gra gra, now now thing works for.

If you do not have the patience to give people like these please don’t bother because e go need patience and the willingness to understand.

@_Tochidike always says my partner will need to be very understanding because it’s very easy to misunderstand me if you’re in a hurry.

People like these can go hours in silence chewing popcorn.
Nothing is wrong.

For me one of the biggest things is if I enjoy sitting in silence with you than I do alone.
It’s a huge thing.

So if this is you, understand that a partner who isn’t patient go really hard you.

Herd mentality will not work for you.
Stop forcing it to.

There are men and women like these.

If you want them it’s going to take more than what you’re used to.
As platonic friends and romantic partners.

Herd mentality won’t work.
Neither will impatience.

Hope this helps.
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