A thread on Tharn’s abandonment and self-esteem issues + dating Type 1/22

I wasn’t able to shorten, but it is more coherent. There are gaps in my reasoning + things I haven't considered but we're just gonna go w it (+would love to discuss)

#FaiWatchesTTTS #TharnTypeTheSeries

I want to start with this scene, from ep4.

What really surprised me (and Type) in this scene was the vehemence with which Tharn defends his exes against Type’s bad mouthing. 2/22

Of course there are other things at play here: Tharn’s frustration with Type’s homophobia and Type’s deflection of his attempts to check in (which is what directly leads to Tharn telling Type about his first time). But the words “do not insult my ex-boyfriends” 3/22

shows two things 1) Type doesn’t have the right to comment on Tharn’s past relationships and 2) the way Tharn says that without hesitation makes me think that at the end of the day, he holds little resentment towards any of his exes. 4/22

Which is wild. Bc we know that every relationship Tharn has had for the last 4 yrs has ended in him getting dumped w/ Lhong’s intervention. Every single one of those boyfriends dumped him with the vaguest of excuses, yet Tharn won’t let them be spoken ill of. 5/22

It can be said here that an insult to his exes is an insult to Tharn’s own judgement, and that’s why he gets upset. But I don’t really think it’s that. If we consider what P’Thorn says about how their family dynamic changed once Thanya arrived and how Tharn accepted it 6/22

I think he views getting dumped, getting left behind, as reflecting on him, not the other person. He doesn’t blame people, he assumes their reasons are valid and that there is something about him, that he is too much or too little, that meant the relationship had to end. 7/22

The reason why I say that is because it tracks with the way he acts with Type. In the face of Type’s homophobia, he gets angry, yes, but afterwards, when Type is ostracized, he still checks in on Type, even before he finds out about Type’s past. 8/22

so 1) Tharn doesn’t entirely blame Type for his prejudice (which...means he sees Type hating him as another iteration of being "too much" which, yes bc creep, but also what??)* and 2) I think Tharn fell for Type despite Type being cruel and prejudiced 9/22

with this thread for bg: https://twitter.com/laowhys/status/1305080831426342913 bc he could see the vehemence with which Type kept the things he cared for close to him. I think he almost fell in love with the hope that if he was able to convince Type that he was worth it, 10/22

Type wouldn’t let go like the rest for some vague reason, bc Type holds on tightly. It almost becomes a benchmark. Because if the fault really did always lay in some facet of Tharn, then there was no way that Type would accept him to that degree. 11/22

Which brings me to: Tharn getting dumped so many times, putting the majority of the blame on himself, yet he keeps giving people his entire heart? How is he able to wear his heart on his sleeve, and always reach out, and be so emotionally honest? He’s hurt over and over 12/22

and yet he is still strong enough to hand his heart to Type, of all fucking people, puts himself in the line of fire for the sake of maybe, just maybe, proving to himself that this relationship can last, that he isn’t too much or too little, that the end isn’t inevitable. 13/22

Which brings me to episode 6. When Type starts going out with Puifai, Tharn is devastated for the obvious reasons but also because he failed, because Type wasn’t staying, so there was no happy ending with the guarantee that Type's regard is 14/22

How relieved was he when Type came back. And Type, who doesn’t entrust his heart to anyone, says “you’re mine.” Says that Tharn is as much his as he is Tharn’s, probably not even recognizing what Tharn has entrusted him with and what he is giving Tharn 15/22

But then Type breaks up with him in ep11. Not because of Tharn as a person, but because the people that he had thought left him first still wanted him back. What a cruel twist of fate, for someone who is so desperate for the security of not being tossed aside. 16/22

The way he clutches Type's legs and promises that he'll change, lists out all these frivolous things, because he's always thought that it was something about him, so maybe if he finally changes, Type will stay. But it's not about him—Type says it's not about him. 17/22

He cries so much because he’s only ever been left bc he didn’t measure up in some way—that makes sense to him. But this time it’s bc he kept trying to have something of his own, and now those past attempts ruined a future with a person he really thought would be The One. 18/22

I wonder if he got mad at himself afterwards, thinking that if he hadn't been so desperate to prove to himself that someone would one day hold on, if he hadn't been so impatient in trying to find that, then he would've gotten to keep Type. 19/22

I think the scariest part is that Lhong’s well...long game, whether or not he realized what it would actually do to Tharn, meant breaking Tharn’s self-esteem/hope enough times until he no longer has the strength to reach out, so that Lhong is the only option. 20/22

And if we say that Tharn does wind up deriving a lot of his self-worth from his successful relationship with Type, I think that if Lhong had broken them up, he would’ve succeeded in breaking Tharn (I don’t think Tharn would’ve turned to him though) 21/22

Which brings us full circle to Type helping Tharn, because once Tharn does have the guarantee of Type, it becomes a lot easier for him to unpack all of those abandonment and self-esteem issues and leave them behind. 22/22

I also think Tharn is a hopeless romantic by virtue of watching his parents as a kid and wanting that for himself. Which is why he still dates even after getting hurt because he's driven by that hope, so it makes me v emo that the hope finally becomes a reality w Type. 23/22