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A long time ago, a friend of ours bought us a novelty Mr T rubber duck, and it's just sort of hung around the place ever since. Some years ago, when some other friends brought their toddler to visit us, she became *absolutely petrified* of the Mr T duck.
Proper screaming fit over it. We don't know why.
We hid it, obviously, but it exerted a weird fascination on her, and she asked to see it again once or twice, then started panicking as soon as it was brought out. It was really, really weird.
Admittedly, it is a strange object, looked at objectively.
Okay, now everyone's freaking out too! Look, this sort of novelty shit was all the rage in the early 00s. Our entire culture was devoted to a sort of fractal irony.
We had a little thing where you pressed buttons and it said Mr T catchphrases. We had *two* BAD MOTHERFUCKER wallets and an Autobots belt buckle.
We had a Pussy Wagon key ring from Kill Bill and a poster from the 80s Hulk Hogan vehicle "Mr Nanny" that we inexplicably found lying around at our college.
It was irony all the way down.
You know, we'd never really listened before, but it's just here and we've given it a go. It's really strange, because it actually sounds like it's saying a series of numbers...? https://twitter.com/Vigilant1000/status/1307796777576341504
It's the same numbers repeated over and over. It's probably just our imagination - it's quite late here!
We'll try to transcribe!
60 8 8 5 8 3 3 101 8 9 4 4 4 4
60 8 8 5 8 3 3 101 8 9 4 4 4 4
Just looks random to us, but if it means anything to you, let us know.
Goggle has no idea anyway. They probably aren't numbers at all; it's a sort of indistinct, rasping noise, but it's *very* regular. The exact same sequence when you squeeze the duck hard and let the air out, every time.
Haha we thought the same thing! Reading about that stuff always freaked us out. They were spy codes or something iwrc. https://twitter.com/StupidityVortex/status/1307805668720742409
We're trying to make those numbers into dates or something, but no luck. And why would they mean anything anyway? Human brains just love to find patterns in random noise.
We'd record it so you could listen to it, but our laptop microphone is really crap, unfortunately.
Listening again, there's a distinct pause about halfway through. So it's:
60 8 8 5 8 3 3
*pause*
101 8 9 4 4 4 4
60 8 8 5 8 3 3
*pause*
101 8 9 4 4 4 4
Could be! Not our field of expertise! https://twitter.com/dd1des/status/1307807059367387136
Mr Tunguska Duck
Yeah, we just looked ourselves and there's nothing sinister about it - it's just a nature reserve now, but there was a meteorite crash there in 1908. Why would our duck be saying those coordinates??? https://twitter.com/cpt_everei/status/1307810668519862280
So, slightly odd update on this, since people have been asking: you can only really hear the duck make the weird noises at night, because they're quite quiet, so we haven't had chance to listen to it again. But - and this will sound strange - the noises are different tonight!
Again, they mostly sound like numbers, but we're not sure. As far as we can make out, it's now saying: 35 8 8 9 [something we can't make out] 75 6 6 1.
The thing we can't make out is two syllables, but doesn't sound like a number. It could be two words, in which case the first is "my".
Some people seemed to think it was coordinates last night. There are a different number of digits this time though, so that must have been a coincidence. Well, *obviously* it's a coincidence - they're just random noises! - but you know what we mean!
Can't account for how the noises are consistent, but different on different nights. We'll have to have another try tomorrow and see what it does.
This was our assumption, yeah. It's certainly warmer tonight than it was yesterday. Maybe we should try putting the duck in the fridge or something? https://twitter.com/PhilGrimley/status/1308139084402118658?s=20
Hm. Just had a quick go at this. Maybe not long enough to make a difference, because the noises are the same? https://twitter.com/PhilGrimley/status/1308139665527132161
Curious to see if the numbers somehow translate to coordinates again, btw. Obviously it'd be a huge coincidence if it was somewhere significant after last night's Russian meteor or whatever it was.
The sound we couldn't make out might be "my nose"? Bit weird, since the duck's beak is its most uncanny valley feature...
Yeah, that's our plan. We're going to approach this as scientifically as possible, because the coordinates thing is just a Bit Too Freaky for us! https://twitter.com/PhilGrimley/status/1308145100900491266
Can't believe our friend's kid was onto something all this time...
Just realised it could be "minus"? https://twitter.com/smolrobots/status/1308142225235365889
So it goes:
35 8 8 9
*pause*
"Minus/my nose"
75 6 6 1
35 8 8 9
*pause*
"Minus/my nose"
75 6 6 1
If anyone knows anything about coordinates (or numerology, we guess?) we'd be interested to hear any theories you might have!
Not you, Numerologybot... https://twitter.com/smolrobots/status/1068118889530384391
Just the middle of the sea, near the North Pole maybe? https://twitter.com/LondonerAlex/status/1308151191524835328?s=20
Sadly, we don't know enough about how coordinates are formatted to translate the numbers we have.
Another possible candidate! Seems a slightly odd place for a court house; it's on an island. https://twitter.com/cpt_everei/status/1308157688782692356?s=20
Did any meteorites land there or anything?
Okay, so this is a bit freaky... https://twitter.com/sand2drn/status/1308159716196048899
If it's the Bermuda Triangle tomorrow, we're throwing the fucking thing in the bin!
Um. We just noticed the duck is gone???
We left it on the coffee table last night and now we can't find it! This is really weird!
We *assume* Spousebot saw our tweets about it and hid it as a small joke. Or she tidied it away apropos of nothing...but that seems unlikely...
It's definitely not in the lounge anywhere. She probably put it in her bag before she left to freak us out.
She won't be able to text back until lunchtime so we're just sitting here being moderately creeped out at the moment. Where is the duck?!
Um.
She's trolling us, right...?
Not yet. We're a bit scared to now! https://twitter.com/avatastic/status/1308367650872008704
Should we go and look in the shed for the Mr T Duck...?
Well, guess we're going then! At least it's daylight now!
okay
It was in the shed. In the drawer of our old desk.
Like, under a bunch of stuff. This is roughly what it looked like when we came in:
And it's dusty and dirty. As if no one's touched it for years.
(The clean bits are where we picked it up.)
We literally had this in our hands last night! It wasn't dusty or anything!
If she is, she must have gone down the garden first thing this morning - when it was still dark - and put it away under a load of stuff, and somehow made it grubby? https://twitter.com/sugaranddice_/status/1308374074645573632
We only ever had one, unless this is some incredibly elaborate prank and Spousebot bought another one? But then what's the deal with the numbers? https://twitter.com/JubalBarca/status/1308375242130239496?s=20
Haven't told her yet. Not sure how to bring it up. https://twitter.com/snathe/status/1308376388945285120
She'll just say she told us it was in the shed.
The duck isn't making noises. It just squeaks like a regular rubber duck. And there isn't even anywhere the air could escape from to make the kinds of noises it made before.
This suggests the duck we've been listening to was, somehow, a second, different duck???
Did we dream the duck? It was pretty late...
We have Original Duck back in the house now, and we'll continue to search for Haunted Duck, and if we find it, photograph them together.
It was on a shelf by the sofa in the lounge. The desk was taken apart when we moved house and has never been reassembled, which is why the drawers are just stacked in the shed, still full of junk! https://twitter.com/alexwlchan/status/1308378989694771202
Still no sign of hypothetical second duck. Spousebot still claiming total ignorance 
For those wondering, Spousebot is as baffled by all this as we are.
Tell us about it! We'd like some too... https://twitter.com/DuncanWallace79/status/1308498632036020225
The duck hasn't done anything strange since it came in from the shed. No sign of a second duck. We haven't had chance to try squeezing it again, but given that Original Duck doesn't even seem to have the physical means to make the noises Haunted Duck did, it might be pointless.
It just squeaks! https://twitter.com/PublicStilli/status/1308501761884327939
Actually, it just stopped squeaking.
Not sure how that works, but when we squeeze it now, it doesn't make any noise at all. Can a squeaky toy break?
