At the start of the Jewish year my most pressing thought is...The Beatles could have been a really cool band if Paul McCartney hadn't chosen to play that pathetic-looking violin-shaped bass.

Think how much better the Beatles would have been if they brought in Suzy Quattro on bass.

In fairness to The Beatles, Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones may have played a cool-looking bass, but the near-upright position he held it in was so appalling it almost prefigured the Mark King catastrophe of the 1980s.

If this thread seems cranky, it's because I have been massively triggered by accidentally seeing a video of Nick Mason's Saucerful of Secrets. Maybe one day I can forgive McCartney for his crimes. But Nick Mason will never receive my absolution.