Haikyuu!! characters as political tendencies

(let me preempt this by saying that this is /mostly/ a joke and should not be taken seriously)

A THREAD

Daichi Sawamura
- A centrist liberal
- Became a cop to be one of the ‘good ones’
- Still a cop though. ACAB

Nishinoya Yuu
- Anarchist, maybe Illegalist?
- Feral Child
- Jobless
- Nobody knows how he funded his travelling lifestyle post time skip

Tsukishima Kei
- big Libertarian energy emanates from him
- snarky as fuck
- definitely tells people “if you’re anti capitalist then why are you using an iphone?” as a comeback

Oikawa Tooru
- A POSADIST
- Aliens will bring communism and liberate the workers of the world
- Literally went to Argentina, the birthplace of posadism

Kita Shinsuke
- Marxist-Leninist
- Historical and Dialectical Materialism king!!!
- a JCP member, i refuse to believe otherwise
- Fights for climate and food justice as a rice farmer

Kenma Kozuke
- I love him but he’s a neoliberal
- A literal YOUTUBER, CEO, and STOCK TRADER and a GAMER??? it’s like furudate sensei put together the worst posibble combination of jobs
- LOADED as FUCK
- Still can’t afford to tone his hair

Iwaizumi Hajime
- probably a boba liberal
- he literally went to UC Irvine
- went by ‘Kevin’ when we was in California
- Never says any slur because he’s good

Tanaka Saeko
- hardcore feminist
- she’s so badass
- best drinking buddy because she will make sure all the girls are safe and will fight any creepy man for you

Bokuto Koutaro
- a free market anarchist, but only accidentally
- Doesn’t know how taxes work
- I don’t think he knows shit about the law either

Sakusa Kiyoomi
- idk he has big anti-natalist energy
- has definitely said “i’m not racist, i hate everyone equally” i’m sorry
- probably a doomsday prepper too

Tanaka Ryunosuke
- he’s an Accelerationist
- Agent of Chaos
- will fuck shit up for no reason at all
- he proposed to kiyoko on first sight, was really weird towards her for 3 whole years and somehow ended up actually marrying her? why????

Akaashi Keiji
- I’m so sorry, i love him but he’s a trotskyist
- he dresses like a trotskyist
- would be an editor for his org’s newspaper (which is the 4th split from the original org)

ok i’m gonna continue again lol

Miya Atsumu
- irony poisoned right winger
- says the left can’t meme but his own memes are the exact same 3 jokes
- exudes entitled trust fund kid vibes

Miya Osamu
- used to be kinda right wing but now he’s an anarcho-syndicalist
- Onigiri Miya is a Freely Associated, Unionized, Workers-Owned Collective
- wears all black all the time
- also a trust fund kid like his twin, but hides it well

Azumane Asahi
- a social democrat
- has manbun
- craft beer enthusiast
- needs free healthcare for his fragile heart

Sugawara Koushi
- also A Social Democrat
- rose emoji twitter
- idk really I can’t explain why but he just has that vibe....

Kuroo Tetsuro
- Anarcho Capitalist
- accomplice to kenma
- absolutely a bitcoin guy
- will never shut up about cryptocurrency

my commie haikyuu groupchat has decided that all of karasuno are social democrats except tsukki and noya, and all of nohebi are Extremely Online Maoists

Terushima Yuuji
- Dirtbag left
- listens to Chapo Trap House
- used orgs as a dating pool
- “a leftist dating app would be a good idea lol”

Suna Rintaro
- a meme communist
- adminned a ‘dank meme stash’ leftbook group, literally does no admin work because he enjoys the drama
- the group got couped several months later by right wingers and someone made an anti-tankie splinter group

Hinata Shoyo
- just leftist, nothing else
- “LEFT UNITY ”
- too much of a ball of sunshine to say anything controversial