Thread by @sisabet, So far on The Untamed: We had the most dramatic death scene [...]

So far on The Untamed:

We had the most dramatic death scene ever, One Beautiful But Audacious Back From the Dead and Possibly (!) Evil(?) Dude hiding from his Tragic Widow Husband only to be revealed by his flute and a wrist grasp of recognition that is truly gasp inducing

THEN we flash back to their meet cute where Wei Wuxian is like “I hate you, you uptight fuddy duddy” at Lan Wangji (Tragic Widow Dude pre Tragic Widow), finds out that Lan Wangji did one *slightly* nice thing and is suddenly “DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS?”

Lan Wangji is not amused. You can tell by how he doesn’t move his face

Meanwhile we meet the Wen Clan and their incredible sense of fashion, style, and how to really make an entrance and the theory of why Wei Wuxian goes evil (?) starts to maybe hinge on his desire to wear really sexy robes - still just a theory

Turns out EVERYTHING IS PROHIBITED for the Lan clan and Wei Wuxian is composed solely of mischief and puppies (also prohibited) so maybe he was never really evil at all, he just has unmedicated ADHD (same, child, same).

We meet Lan Wangji’s incredibly sexy older brother and everyone is in love with him and that includes you and me - I don’t make these rules I just point them out

Another theory about Wei Wuxian going evil:

@sweetestdrain: My theory about wei wuxian being evil is he was distracted by a bird during the part of class saying "don't be evil" so he doesn’t know!

So right now we have he does it for either the style, he’s not really evil just prohibited (it’s all about your perspective), or he was distracted and it’s all a misunderstanding

In an attempt to...solidify their one-sided friendship, Wei Wuxian shows Lan Wangji porn. This happened. I saw it.

Things happen, time passes, demons are fought and there are other characters doing things and for reasons both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are corporally punished and go to a healing cold spring because sure

So they are in the water:

@faneunice: I’m sorry did Wei Wuxian really just say there were a lot of benefits to being his friend and *immediately* start stripping his clothes off?

And then. AND THEN something happens and they end up in a cave and have to get Headband Married (it’s a thing I’m pretty sure I’m not making it up) and there are also bunnies wearing headbands and then the Ghost of Femslash Past gives them a Solemn Mission

At this point I remember the initial Incredibly Dramatic Death Scene and I feel physical pain because I know what it means that Lan Wangji’s face did *that* and it takes some joy away from what I am getting out of bunnies all wearing headbands

Anyway, Wei Wuxian continues to really go all out on the adorableness and even makes Lan Wangji sort of smile and I screamed. You would also scream. It’s scream worthy.

Remember - so far we have a gasp worthy wrist grab and a scream worthy smile - this show is very interactive

Then Wei Wuxian makes this incredibly noble wish because he is still totally made of sunshine, puppies, and ice cream and you can watch as Lan Wangji REALIZES “oh, shit. I’m into him” and it’s incredible what this actor can do with micro facial movements

I’m gonna go back and just watch all the vids now that I know what’s up with him

Other stuff is happening like Wei Wuxian’s sister and her betrothed don’t light a lantern together and everyone is shocked because they are supposed to be married and this is weird

Meanwhile I will give you 2 guesses who Wei Wuxian lanterns with and honestly you don’t need them it’s Lan Wangji!!

More stuff happens and Wei Wuxian cuddles a bunny and decides not to keep it because he is leaving and if Lan Wangji is lonely he might need a bunny to cuddle

Reader, there are a ton of bunnies. The bunnies are a metaphor.

Vid: Posted
New Laptop: Acquired
Cookies: In Hand

It's time for more The Untamed

The laptop needed more focus than I had to give so sadly I was only able to get to dire owls conquered by harnessing sexual tension and sexy bruises tonight.

I’m fully convinced nothing bad will ever happen to anyone ever and am fully in denial of the opening of the first ep

I’m also not trawling AO3 for arranged marriage AUs! Lies and slander!

Okay so things have taken A Turn

A Turn into Seriously Smoldering Villain (and I have a TYPE)

WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?? HOW DARE HE? WHY AM I SO EASY AND PREDICTABLE?

I am banking on him being the Callisto of the show and I can't wait to find out more about his sexy tragic backstory

Theory on why Wei Wuxian goes evil 4:

He is seduced by the Dark Side. The Smoldering Dark Side that Smolders.

This is the angriest Lan Wangji has ever been in his entire life

Friends and Strangers my I present to you: Mr. Steal Your Man

I don't normally screencap and I'm gonna be straight with you guys -- I have 108 caps of this. Like. WAS HE MADE IN A LAB TO FUCK WITH MY HEAD??? I am only so strong.

Meanwhile why is my poor baby Nie Huaisang being exposed to all of this? He does not belong here and I am very upset at whoever is supposed to be protecting him from this kind of exposure.

I don't trust this guy. @faneunice is taken in by his dimples but he seems like he has an agenda

Wei Wuxian's brother is so shocked and meanwhile Lan Wangji is like "don't bust me out like that - uncool"

I'm calling it a Night Hunt from now on, btw

These guys are having a full and interesting life full of love and rogue demon hunting off screen and it was really nice of them to stop by and check in with us.

I remain, as ever,

Predictable

Reader, I straight up screamed at my television "THAT'S THE BROTHER???"

He's just saying what we all wanna know and I respect him for it.

oh no, now I love him

I don't know what to tell you Lan Wangji, but it's not like he said he never gets drunk and passes out on roofs. It's kinda how ya'll met. This is his hobby.

Damn, I just have nothing to add to this straight up drunken rooftop pining slash seduction other than it's beautiful and I am here for it.

oh, no

SUDDENLY I AM SUPER INVESTED

I would die for either of them right now and I can't identify why this has happened so quickly but it is what it is and I'm not crying, you're crying!

This is the most painful thing I have ever seen please make it stop this show got so intense and I just want gay flutes to come back

I care so much and I'm devastated. I need to spend some quality screen time with Lan Wangji's brother to make up for this pain

I really need some time to figure out the dynamics at work here but I'm super into the Nie Clan and if we need to stick around with them for awhile the Unclean Realm seems cool

Just...imagine these are your kids and my heart goes out to their dad. He tries so hard and runs so far and in the end it doesn't even matter.

On the one hand - LOVE a lady who can make an entrance.

On the other hand - she does not like Wei Wuxian and that is not forgivable

But she's hot so she can stay

OH THANK GOD... I missed him so much! But also um...there is an invasion outside your door so you might want to check into that, Lan Xichen

Me and Lan Xichen are both unhappy that he is being sent away - I know it's important to protect the library because Lan Wangji likes to read there so I guess it must be done

UP IN THE SKY! This sweet baby knows how to make an entrance also AND he likes Wei Wuxian so he's very well perfect

This guys like "Kill Him!" and Lan Wangji is like "No."

Lan Wangji is having visible emotions and that means shit is hitting the fan

He's a determined, brave little toaster and I think maybe this was a huge mistake but I also don't think he has a fully developed prefrontal cortex no matter how much he wills it to be completed. Some stuff is just biological and so you're gonna make mistakes - it's how we learn.

Oh. YOU FUCKER! When Wei Wuxian goes evil (?), I hope he murders you first

I Love Her A Lot: A Life's Story by Me

Aw hey, cutie - stay safe and like hide your porn really really well.

I LOVE these sibling dynamics and how they both want to be their sister's favorite. It's so soft and nice. More of this please.

Oh no Jiang Cheng, why did you say anything! YOU KNOW THAT MEANS Wei Wuxian is gonna turn around and Lan Wangji is gonna walk in for for maximum drama

Maximum. Drama.

Do you think Jiang Cheng gets tired of saying "Wei Wuxian, don't cause any trouble" every single day of his life?

Oh this is gonna be a MESS

This is it. This is the dynamic between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian in 2 screen caps.

Wei Wuxian: I have give up my sword, oh no I don't like it but oh well

Wei Wuxian: OMG LAN WANGJI HAS TO GIVE UP HIS SWORD OMG IS HE GONNA BE OKAY I AM FREAKING OUT

I'm certain Wei Wuxian's not going to get himself into any trouble at all - nothing to see here

I remember the second episode and I Have Concerns

Jiang Cheng knows exactly what is going to happen doesn't he?

We must protect Wei Wuxian

I SCREAMED! There is "I like you, do you like me? Check one box - yes, no, or maybe"

And then there is "I memorized the several thousand items in your clan's rigid code and am now reciting them to make a point because I PAID ATTENTION"

THIS MAN

How does he go from absolutely ridiculous

To THIS in like no time flat -- also Lan Wangji's face is really hurting me right here

I mean....

HELLO!

I...I am gonna need a minute. Like this is super kinda my thing and I just need to process this and sit with it.

This slow burn is the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life

I...I need to know that this is happening

HOW IS THIS REAL?

I...I for one would really really really like to know how tough he can be, for like, science reasons. Yeah that's it

oh...oh no, his face

Not to be a creep on main, but I'm into this

I love practical effects but this was...Let's move on

am I super into tortured Wei Wuxian?

All signs point to yes --- he is just so talented, he's great at being a goof, at being sweet, at being a little shit. If he throws off a single perfect tear in the next few eps I will scream so loudly you will all hear it

"How is your wound?"

"How are you and your sister?"

Never forget to express care for others even in dire circumstances.

But really, Wei Wuxian knows what's important and he is a man who might not seem to be able to prioritize but just like his ability to be tortured beautifully this is a man of hidden depths

Everything is getting so painful and wonderful

PAAAAINNNN

I am getting everything I have ever ever wanted

This is a truly glorious day

Again, my sympathy belongs to Jiang Cheng as he has earned all of it.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*plays We've Only Just Begun*

He did not just say that about their daddy! I hate this guy

Jiang Cheng, honey -- you gotta learn to pick your battles

Wei Wuxian makes a very good point and that help absolutely has to come from him for reasons

Jiang Cheng you were never going to win this argument but the moment you suggested Wei Wuxian might carry Lan Wangji, you completely lost his attention because now he is off in a seriously detailed fantasy.

Jiang Cheng you know better than this

This is possibly the wisest thing Wei Wuxian has ever said in his entire life. I am so proud.

I love how you can see his little face gearing up to talk to Lan Wangji about something that isn't teasing him

MY FACE IS MELTING

Honestly, if ANYONE else made Wei Wuxian's face do this I would maybe claw their eyes out but since it's Lan Wangji I can just coo and sigh and have, like, hope

My little plucky trooper is not to be deterred and knows when to seek help from others.

I love him so much. I love her so much. I want to tear my face off.

Conspiring! To help! TEAM UP

THESE TWO ARE PERFECT CINNAMON ROLLS AND I WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME

brothers! long suffering but brothers!

Jiang Cheng, you already know the answer to this like 98% of the time you ask Wei Wuxian and yet you still ask, every single time

Aw, yes another cave what could possibly go wrong?

GASP!!! I am shocked (I was not shocked - as soon as he said it seemed bottomless I was like "ah, child you are gonna fall down that pit" because it seems a talent of his)

I suddenly remember the opening scene of the series and experience a deep existential dread that honestly I have grown accustomed to living with but for a brief moment was able to sublimate into Lan Wanji's face right here - his face should never look like this

I was unable to get nonblurry caps for this event but if you think I'm not gonna use them anyway, you don't know me. Also, my expression exactly matches Wei Wuxian in the last frame

Petition to buy Jiang Cheng an all inclusive resort vacation for one (except he would last a day before worry would make him go back to check on his brother due Wei Wuxian and his Wei Wuxian Ways)

FIGHT

I honestly don't know how anyone who knows Wei Wuxian even in a little tiny bit is surprised at all at this escalation

Petition to create fundraiser to assist in Jiang Cheng's stress induced ulcer treatment

As one smartass to another; this was very nicely done

Is it just me or is Murderous Wei Wuxian kinda hot like fire?

This is a very good look for him

I honestly feel like I should have seen the giant turtle coming but much like Wei Wuxan, I was dependent upon Jiang Cheng to figure out what is happening

Lan Wangji is the only person who has seen Jurassic Park and knows the rules when it comes to fighting...um, giant cave turtles and this is why we stan

Giant Cave Turtle fighting commences and ALSO SHIT GETS REAL and this one mean lady wants to BRAND this other lady who pissed her off by not wanting to die - I don't want to point fingers or anything but was anyone on the production team involved in NXIVM

Wei Wuxian takes a BRAND TO THE CHEST in a move destined to make me have thoughts of Great Moments In Ships Past

Somebody SAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEE!

OMG

THEY ARE TRAPPED! IN!! A!!! CAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@sweetestdrain said, she said "There is something just for you in episode 13" and and boy was she ever right.

I cannot express how much I love Trapped In a _____ tropes especially when it is a CAVE

Me and Lan Wangji to Wei Wuxian, "don't do it"

Wei Wuxan *does it*

Wei Wuxian is Good At Women

You just know his interior monologue is "this would totally work on my sister I have no idea why I'm bombing here"

Petition to allow Jiang Cheng one solid day of not having to do anyone else's emotional labor.

These silent conversations just with your eyes is honestly pretty rude and I'm very upset with you both

Watching Wei Wuxian doing something incredibly brave and self sacrificing as a distraction to allow everyone else to escape is not how Lan Wangji wanted to spend his evening but he is coming to terms with his fate

Reader, he was not right behind Jiang Cheng

Petition to buy Jiang Cheng a puppy

Lan Wangji is suddenly inspired to act and no one can figure out why. It's a mystery. One for the ages.

oh no, sexy wounds! alone in a cave! this is the best show ever made

What in the name of the Great Hurt/Comfort God have I done to deserve this, this GIFT

It was at that moment that Lan Wangji understood how incredibly out of his depth he is right now with Wei Wuxian. From here on out he has accepted his doom/fate

The fact that Wei Wuxian has an AO3 account is glaringly obvious at this point but he isn't wrong. There is a natural order to these things and tradition demands that they strip

I mean this is happening.

None of this is fair and I am in agreement with Wei Wuxian. He is only one person and he has been pushed SO FAR!

The hurt/comfort hits just keep coming

Lan Wangji learns to speak Wei Wuxian's love language

Wei Wuxian responds with delight

Lan Wangji has accepted that he is in love and now must do what he can to caution Wei Wuxian to take better care of himself

Lan Wangji is like "but your beautiful beautiful body is marked forever" and Wei Wuxian is missing the point

This conversation is causing Lan Wangji way more pain than his open and bleeding wound

Lan Wangji is wondering if maybe he hit his head at some point because the words coming out of Wei Wuxian's mouth just do not make sense

Lan Wangji realizing in real time that he is in love with truly the dumbest boy in the world

Oh no. No. This is unacceptable and it must stop

If Wei Wuxian murders the entire Wen clan (because what does he do that is so evil? Is that it??) because Lan Wangji is crying, I don't think it is an over reaction because LOOK

Yes, Wei Wuxian, we are all very very worried about Lan Wangji's brother and hope to see him again soon

He misses the point like it's his job sometimes, but this is a very very sweet boy

And with this, episode 13 has watered my crops, walked my dog, fixed my roof, and completed my taxes.

This is completely too much and I am writing a strongly worded letter. Lan Wangji is not equipped for this and his blood sugar is also very low.

He needs at least a glass of orange juice or a hard candy - this feeling is just gonna cause my poor man to struggle.

Wei Wuxian is always thinking about ways to die, have y'all noticed?

Lan Wangji is basically thinking "It had to be *this* guy"

Yeah, you picked him, Lan Wangji. This is the man who owns your heart. Sorry not sorry.

I am not sure what is happening here but Wei Wuxian is pleased and Lan Wangji is having a lot of feelings so I suppose I support it.

(is it wizard sex?)

I have a really bad feeling about this

Random creepy swords are never a good idea

OMG DO NOT EVER JUST TOUCH THE RANDOM CREEPY SWORD THIS IS NOT A DRILL WEI WUXIAN OMG

Can I have a moment to talk to Lan Wangji:

Hey, listen I know all of this is rough and you are trying your best but Jiang Cheng is not here and therefore there is no one else to tell Wei Wuxian to not play with probably cursed swords so it's up to you

This is concerning. I am concerned.

Boyfriend Power Activate

I am not thrilled with this but I do love it so just know I'm at war with myself right now.

This seems like a Very Bad Thing

Is this doing bad things to a pure cinnamon roll of dumbassery, nobleness, and fun?

I'm gonna go ahead and hate this sword, guys

OH NO I AM SORRY BUT THIS SHOW IS GOING TOO FAR NOW I CANNOT ACCEPT A WORLD WHERE HIS FACE DOES THIS

On the other hand, this is basically my aesthetic

oh no this is bad what is happening to Wei Wuxian's face it isn't his Hot Murder Face it's way more like Xue Yang's Hot Murder Face which I have decided I don't want on my child. Also I'm adopting Wei Wuxian.

This is not the date night Lan Wangji was hoping to have. If Wei Wuxian was not my son I might be getting into his evil power face just a little because I am still me. Since he is my son I want to feed him soup and ground him for six weeks.