What your crush from @SupergiantGames's Hades says about you: a thread

Zagreus:
- You say you like bad boys but don't want your feelings hurt
- Intro-level himbosexual
- You want swords and jaw-lines that can cut diamonds

Hades:
- You're big into the strong-silent type
- Negging might work better on you than you're comfortable admitting
- You might not have daddy-issues, but most of your OCs do

Nyx:
- All you want for Christmas is a big tiddy goth gf
- You want to be nurtured, but in a sort of tsundere way
- All the influencers you follow have an
A E S T H E T I C

Charon:
- No words, only love
- A sucker for anyone who knows their way around a boat
- All about supporting your homies' OFs

Chaos:
- Monster-Fucker Level: Advanced
- Love a good voice(s)
- Firm believer that variety is the spice of life

Megaera:
- You only write Enemies to Lovers fics
- You refer to multiple real-world people as your Gary Oak / Virgil
- Low-key kinky, but quiet about it

Alecto:
- You have joked to your friends about starting a fight club more than once
- A Lot
- Kinky and not even a little quiet about it

Tisiphone:
- Monster-Fucker Level: Beginner
- Don't need scintillating conversation out of a relationship
- You frequently feel guilty for things that aren't your fault

Thanatos:
- Your type is entirely defined by one ex
- Your music taste never developed past 2007
- You say you like bad boys and are 100% ok with getting your feelings hurt

Hypnos:
- You are always the least organized person in the room
- SOFT BOIS ONLY
- True love is breakfast in bed

Zeus:
- Your friends try to talk you out of EVERY relationship
- V. into different power dynamics
- Not so good at reading signals

Poseidon:
- You're terrible at letting go of grudges
- Hot tubs & beaches > Beds
- You were on your high-school swim team, or at least dated a swimmer

Athena:
- You've called yourself a 'sapiosexual' unironically
- Love being told what to do
- Protecc, not attacc

Aphrodite:
- You don't believe anyone is 'out of your league.'
- Mid-level influencer status
- Your evening skin-care routine takes 30 minutes

Artemis:
- Crunchy
- Camping is the ideal first-date
- You pet every dog. EVERY. dog.

Ares:
- Preferred personality type: Swords
- You watch fight-scenes for the sexual tension
- You fence, LARP, or frequent renaissance fairs

Dionysus:
- Decision making skills still developing
- You've had a crush on every youth-group pastor or guidance counselor
- Sucker for anyone who can make a good cocktail

Hermes:
- You never run your own errands
- Have asked for the number of at least one Uber/Lyft driver
- Short-shorts are the height of eroticism

Demeter:
- An icy glare is the greatest form of intimacy
- Abandonment issues
- Ara ara (??? i don't fully know what this means)

Achilles:
- Himbosexual-level: Intermediate
- You bond hard and you bond fast
- Not above some VERY petty revenge

Patroclus:
- Big guilt complexes
- Usually wait for someone you admire to solve your problems for you
- Always catching feelings

Theseus:
- Himbosexual-Level: Advanced
- Gym rat
- Not afraid of embracing your problematic faves

Asterius:
- Monster-Fucker Level: Intermediate
- Himbosexual Level: Extreme
- Finally some good fucking food

Dusa:
- Your type: certified cinnamon roll
- Just want to be helpful
- Big uwu energy

Skelly:
- You might be the mean friend
- 'Carry this for me?'
- Biggest turn-on: reliability

Eurydice:
- You are an art student, or you dated one
- Low-key jaded
- You only eat granola you made yourself

Orpheus:
- You built your personality in high-school around Tim Burton films
- No ability to resist musicians
- Sad boi fever

Sisyphus:
- Himbosexual-Level: Advanced
- You just really need a hug, like, all the time
- Still have your favorite child-hood stuffed animal