One oft unspoken facet of PTSD is that how you & your story are treated in the aftermath of a trauma can compound the trauma hugely. Not being believed & being abandoned can compound it. And being violated by having your story retold without permission is hugely traumatising. https://twitter.com/trickstersworld/status/1307677923755909120

And here’s the thing: I can understand how this happened. I can understand having a complete brain blank & thinking “oh we’ve talked about this before” & asking. I can understand making a horrible, unintentional mistake. But what you DO with that mistake is a sign of character.

Acknowledging your mistake, the harm you caused, & understanding the impact of it within a rape survivor’s context of violation matters. Adjusting your behaviour & humility & sensitivity afterwards matters. Letting the victim know this was your fault, not theirs, matters.

Brushing this off with glib sweeping statements about how all criticisms against you are baseless & the actions of a political agenda is a choice. It’s a choice to not hold yourself accountable, & to not even try mitigate some of the harm you’ve caused. That choice matters.

I don’t think that mistakes define people. I don’t. I’ve made mistakes & sure as hell hope they don’t define me. But I think our response to mistakes matters. And I think all good people, in face of our mistakes, genuinely care about the harm we have caused, & try do better.