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October 26, 1999 @IncubusBand released their 'Make Yourself' album. I was a freshman in high school first semester. I came back to it yesterday and had a whole experience for two hours. I played every song twice, then played the album all the way through and every song hit.
Back to back they unleashed a whole narrative that expels my fears, insecurities, frustrations, yet still makes time to swaddle me simultaneously. Maybe a short cry before I walk away empowered with a secret soundtrack as I walk through September 2020 in chilly #NYC
I still call 'The Warmth' "The Whale Song" because...whale. "Don't let the world bring you down. Not everyone is that fucked up and cold." This spoke to me in 1999 - 21 years ago! And today, in chilly NYC, there's a quiet light of hope that this is true. I want a bonfire.
"I'd like to close my eyes and go numb. But there's a cold wind coming from. The top of the highest high rise today." The lyrics, phrasing, key and time signature changes, within and from track to track is one of those long wicks lit and leading t a big box of TNT. #LooneyToons
Wiley Coyote and the Road Runner. What can I say? I'm in a nostalgic mood. We had hope and a direction that seemed positive for collective progression of humanity. My memories before partying like it was a 1999 blackout. Something did shift in the collective mind though.
Fear became great, again. The world was ending. We stocked up on goods as if January 1, 2000 all stores would be closed forever. Partied, then said our prayers in case we were zapped off the face of the Earth in a blink of an eye. Called loved ones. We were gonna die trying.
"Pardon me while I burst into flames...I'll never be the same." Music in the 90's for me was about revolution. A clear expression of what I was feeling, even at a young age. If you were going to be anything you would have to "Make Yourself" or static noise would drown you out.
This album just hit me right yesterday. While I was bouncing around in my room trying to hit those pitches @mybrandonboyd let fly out, it made me think of who I was in 1999. In 1998 I wore a lime green and black swirl shirt from Hot Topic. I was in middle school not giving AF!
So it seemed. I had such anxiety that day - probably only wore it twice the whole year. I was trying to prove to myself and others I didn't care. But I did. Yet after wearing it, it made me feel untouchable. I was walking the school halls outside of my self.
You couldn't see me for the loud ass lime green shirt that I intentionally chose to wear to middle school. I didn't want to "fit in" I wanted to be Stellar. But, I also didn't want to be alone. "Meet me in outer space."
An unnecessary fear. "Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear. And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer?" Right now I gotta Drive again. "But lately I am beginning to find that when I drive myself my light is found."
Liberation. Being unwavering in the direction you choose for yourself. "[They] could never offend. Their dirty words come out clean." When you let that go, groove out to Battle Scralatchtica. People are gonna be who they're gonna be. Find someone to groove with and love.
I Miss You younger me. I keep learning lessons.
Have a Great Sunday Everyone! What songs or albums bring you back?
Have a Great Sunday Everyone! What songs or albums bring you back?
