is it just my unfortunate luck or does everyone else also have to semi-frequently enforce boundaries with people who then react very disproportionately-- like you asking for respect is a slight to them???

like, as a person who appreciates direct feedback, all I want is for someone to be direct about their wants/needs. and yet anytime I directly tell someone who is making me uncomfortable how they can just... not do that, they instead are like GUESS WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS

I mean yes, that's correct, we can't be friends if you cannot respect my feelings or basic requests but like WTF I just told you what I needed?

it's so hard to have fucking conversations with people who perceive boundaries as an attack or slight!!!

also, I am almost 30 and after growing up in a house with two narcissists then dating several more, manipulative bullshit will not work on me (shoutout to therapy for helping me recognize red flags & and advocate for myself and my feelings)

anyways, all that to say, boundaries are healthy and necessary but god, enforcing them is a real trip. esp as someone with PTSD who often feels guilty for advocating for myself

anyways this has been a summary of my last 24 hours of thoughts, shit like this always makes me want to stop talking to new people and go live in a commune in the woods with only people I know & trust so I'm just gonna give myself a few days to recalibrate

also, if you are reading this thread and you are a person who is frequently upset by people setting & maintaining boundaries, please spend some time interrogating why other people setting limits to protect their physical and emotional wellbeing is a problem for you

boundaries are not about *you* -- they are about caring for *me* so I can remain in community with you + others

everything is rough right now, take care of yourselves y'all