Read on Twitter
Okay, I& #39;m doing another education thread. I only touched on this briefly in my other education thread (pinned to my profile) but I want to talk about more about the academic side of my schooling.
My experience was very mixed, so I know not all autistics or neurodivergents will relate to this (or may only relate to parts of this). Also, thanks to @QueerlyAutistic as her tweets tonight have inspired me to do this. Let& #39;s get started.
Also worth mentioning that I& #39;ve now been diagnosed as an ADHDer since my last thread around this topic, so that didn& #39;t get a mention last time. Now I& #39;ll start
1) From the start I was struggling with school work, particularly with reading and writing (my hand writing is still messy today) I was not able to learn in the same way as most of the other kids.
2) Several reasons for this. My short term memory is rubbish. This can be associated with autism, ADHD and dyslexia (I& #39;m all 3). Short term memory often predicts academic success. I& #39;m not an expert in this field but this article kinda explains the idea https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/keep-it-in-mind/201012/working-memory-is-better-predictor-academic-success-iq">https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/k...
3) CW: the article above mentions IQ
Although this may not be the case for all ND people, it is for me. The working memory (short term) memory demands can be high in the classroom. So automatically I was kinda set up to fail
Although this may not be the case for all ND people, it is for me. The working memory (short term) memory demands can be high in the classroom. So automatically I was kinda set up to fail
4) Sensory perception: Classrooms are noisy places with so much going on. I can only work and focus when I have no distractions. So getting work done in a school classroom wasn& #39;t much fun for me.
5) I struggled to communicate my needs for help/support. In a big group, I struggle to communicate (always have). So in a class of 30 kids, I didn& #39;t know how to navigate that. People just assumed I would, when I couldn& #39;t.
6) At school you were punished for misbehaving and rewarded for good work and behaviour. I thought the only solution to this was to be the "perfectly behaved girl" (which was only achieved through masking) and get good grades.
7) For the reasons mentioned above, it was impossible for me to get good grades. I would try so hard, as I thought that would be the only way I could get universal acceptance. This led to some toxic thinking at a young age. The perfectionist who could never reach perfection.
8) Throughout school, I would be taken out of lessons for & #39;Interventions& #39; without really understanding why. This made my classmates aware of my difficulties, which I felt a lot of shame for (but shouldn& #39;t have)
9)Also this made me not want to contribute in lessons at all as I wouldn& #39;t want people being aware of my mistakes (the perfectionism) because it may lead to more bullying. This also meant I was too afraid to ask questions.
10) Every teacher report/parents evening from then on said & #39;She needs to ask for help/questions& #39; But they never gave me an autistic/ND friendly way to reach out. The NT way was clearly not working for me, but nobody thought to make a reasonable adjustment for me here.
11) Towards the end of primary school/start of secondary, I did manage to progress and become an "average student". Still, the perfectionist inside me was never satisfied with that. I would burn out to only achieve & #39;mediocre& #39; grades. This was hard for me during puberty.
12) At secondary school, my teachers would encourage me to & #39;pass& #39; only. Once I had got my work to a level that was considered a & #39;pass& #39; they literally told me to stop working. It& #39;s like they were almost too afraid to push me academically...Still don& #39;t get that to this day.
13) I was always encouaged to take the easy options encouraged academically, rather than choose options based on my interests. If I had my time again, I would have pushed for my true interests.
14)This other tweet from earlier today, needs to be mentioned in this thread https://twitter.com/Saraheboon/status/1307365755499970565">https://twitter.com/Saraheboo...
15) Anyway, I change school at 16 (thank god) and things became better. I was encouraged, supported and nobody ever tried to put a limit on my abilities (which it felt like my previous schools did).
16) I became academically strong. It& #39;s not the most important thing in the world, but it felt like it to me at the time. It felt like for the first time my effort was worth. It& #39;s heartbreaking when you put so much effort into something and don& #39;t achieve. It was nice
17) But I did struggle with the pressure always feeling like "I need to get As in everything."
18) Now I see it as "As long as I get a high enough grade for my next step, I will be okay." Yes, I still struggle with academic work a lot (even though I enjoy it) but with the right support and adjustments, I can acieve what I want/need to academically. achieve
Thank you for reading this thread, Good night!
