more on this: it feels incredibly shitty to be in a place where i'm open about being nonbinary and seeing people refer to "the ladies of X discord server" for a server i'm in or saying "you go girl!" in a comment on my fic. it tells me you dont think my gender identity is valid. https://twitter.com/r_saltghoul/status/1306393839784136704

and there's no way i'm the only one who's had this experience, because there are plenty of non-ciswomen people in fandom.
a simple way you can change this is to use gender-neutral language. like, instead of "the ladies of X server," use "folx" or "friends."

instead of "i'm a straight women bc i don't like pussy," remember that some men have vaginas, some women have penises, and there are plenty of people who fall outside of that binary.
saying you only date men because you "only like dick" is transphobic. full stop.

is it easy to change your speech patterns or thought process? no, but it makes people like me feel considerably safer & more welcome. it's fucking exhausting to have to constantly remind people that hi, trans people exist, pls stop calling me female bc of whats between my legs.

you think it's difficult to retrain yourself to use "folx" instead of "ladies"? imagine how difficult it is to have to constantly remind the people around you to use the right pronouns and language to describe you & people like you.

and like. personally. this is the ONLY space in my life where i am open about my gender identity. i spend the rest of my life going by the wrong name and pronouns bc i don't feel comfortable or safe coming out as nonbinary. it's a "death by 1000 papercuts" feeling.

also:
- trans men don't owe you masculinity.
- trans women don't owe you femininity.
- nonbinary people don't you androgyny.
gender identity, gender presentation, and genitalia are all completely separate things.

overall i have a lot of fun in this fandom and i've made some amazing friends, but i've also seen a lot of really cringey, really exhausting cisheteronormative shit. i'm not going anywhere, i'm just really, really, really tired of this shit.