Seriously, qualities of the academic fuckboi, i'm so sick of this shit.

1. collects vinyl

2. black literature is "an interest" or "a hobby"

3. thinks Joel Chandler Harris was a swell guy who did his best

4. claims to have discovered entire swaths of ideas without having read all of the BIPOC critics who did it first

5. sexually inappropriate, but because it's like freedom, man, stop being so repressed, man.

6. aggressively punitive to black and brown scholars when it comes to questions of process or reviewing their work but it's because like to be the opposite would be racist, you know? i mean, those are the rules!

7. once had one Black or BIPOC student

8. dates graduate students

9. marxist of some ilk because what about class man like we can't forget to talk about class.

10. aging enfant terrible, very tight jeans, affected manner of dress

11. at some point got suspended, rebuked, or something. for sure.

12. "queer" but straight

13. wants to "deconstruct" monogamy but can't "deconstruct" non-monogamy

14. prefers Asian or very light-skinned women or highly pierced white women

15. feminists are such a bummer, man.