Incoming thread about lactation, pregnancy, sexism, ableism, and disability-informed feminism.
There is a lot of intense ableism and sexism at the heart of the way lactation and pregnancy are discussed in both medical and non-medical settings.
Ableism and sexism in pregnancy/lactation-related culture are creating unnecessary trauma, doing real damage to medical care, and denying people the support they need in order to feed their babies in a way that works well for them.
Ableism ignores the fact that breastfeeding/chestfeeding can be impossible, only partly possible, or unsafe for some people.

Sexism frames the problem as gender deviance and pushes emotional gender conformity as the solution to every problem that might come up.
Sexist lactation culture assumes that all gestational parents are mothers, that all mothers are gestational parents, and that if people just think sufficiently positive womanly thoughts, they will make copious amounts of milk and love breastfeeding.

But it doesn't work that way.
People who grow babies have the same range of gender identity and gender expression as everyone else does.

The coercive gendering of gestation really, really needs to stop. The expectation of gender conformity really, really needs to stop.

People are people.
Ableism erases the range of bodies that actually exist.

Not everyone who can grow a baby has the same physical or psychological ability to lactate.

Not everyone has the same physical or mental health needs.

This should not be taboo to acknowledge. But it is.
Despite what ableism tells us, there is, in fact, such a word as can't. We can only do things that are actually physically possible — and the range of things that are physically possible is different for different people.
Despite what sexism tells us, our bodies are ours. It matters what is physically possible, and it *also* matters what we want, and what makes life possible for us in good ways.

It's ok to want to breastfeed/chestfeed. It's also ok not to want to do that.
As a disabled women, I really worry about people who go into pregnancy without already knowing about disability and feminism.

I don't know how you deal with the ableism and sexism without that preexisting awareness.
Being a disabled disability advocate means that I already know that my body might not work the way simplistic guidelines would lead me to expect, and that neither positive thinking nor trying really hard will erase my needs or the limitations of my body.
Being a disabled disability advocate also I already know that I might not feel the way people tell me I should about my body and my options and my experiences.

And that I already know how to see myself as a person when others have dehumanizing attitudes towards me.
Being a disabled disability advocate means that, when I've had pregnancy complications, it has been something I've been able to be matter-of-fact about. It's not pleasant, but it's just... how it is. These things happen, and I'm dealing with it.
The midwives in the clinic I go to wouldn't work with me because they "specialize in normal," and I have preexisting medical conditions.

I worry about pregnant people who see themselves as "normal" and expect pregnancy to be predictable and not-quite-medical.
I think it's dangerous to encourage people to see themselves as "normal", and especially dangerous to encourage people to expect that being "normal" will make things predictable.

Because it really, really doesn't work that way, and people deserve the truth.
I think the whole idea of "normal" creates unnecessary trauma for people whose bodies end up working differently than they expected.

Dealing with complications and unexpected medical issues is hard enough without adding an identity crisis on top of it.
I think that we need a disabled feminist approach to understanding the reality of pregnant and/or potentially lactating bodies.

It shouldn't be taboo to acknowledge the range of bodies, choices, and feelings that actually exist.

It doesn't have to be. We can change this.
Among other things: People should be free to figure out which ways of feeding their babies work best for them, with appropriate support and without stigma.

No one should be pressured into expecting their body to work a certain way or expecting to feel a certain way.
Among other things: Pregnancy does not cure medical conditions. Some pregnant people need to take medications.

Right now, it's really hard for people with medical conditions to get access to competent medical advice about treatment during pregnancy.

It should be easy.
I could go on, and I'm sure I will at some point, but for now, I'll stick with those examples.
/thread, for now.
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