A thread of the last time I dated and how I potentially lost my soul mate.

Met this Queen on a hike set up by some colleagues. When you talk about aesthetically beautiful, she was definitely 100/10. Skin was definitely kissed by the Gods. Plus she carried her natural hair with poise and grace. I was trying to catch a glimpse at her any chance I got.

We get to a point for food and conversation and this Queen (let's call her Nefertiti or Nef for short) finds herself sitting next to me. Whenever I spoke I could see Nef hanging on to every word I said as if it was life itself. My heart was doing gymnastics at this point.

We begin our descent and somehow Nef finds herself lagging behind with me. We engage in conversation all the way down. She was laughing hell hard at my "jokes". Those who know me, know humor is not my forte. Yet, here was this Queen laughing at my jokes.

We end the hike and my confidence is through the roof. So I decide to see just how smooth I thought I was.

Me: Nef, I really enjoyed our conversation. Its a pity it was so short. I'd love to continue it, tho. Maybe over dinner sometime? (Not my exact words but something so?

Nef: I'd love that! I really did enjoy chatting with you, you're a breath of fresh air. (Her words verbatim, I'd never forget that)

We exchanged numbers and was on our way.

First 24 hours pass and I debating whether I should call or text cause I'm not about to mess this thing up. It was approaching the second 24 when boom my phone rings, Nef name pop up and in my haste to answer i drop my phone cracking the screen. Was still able to answer.

We chat for the entire night, into morning. Phone got hot in my ear, battery went low and needed charging but we were there. Before I knew it, it was morning and I had to go to work. I let her know that I couldn't text her throughout the day cause of my new phone screen situation

And asked for her email so we could communicate during the day whilst I was at work. I was going all out to try and keep this woman interested. She obliged and we were emailing each other with Subject and everything.

I rush home from work to lay up in my bed and call Nef. Conversation lasted about the same time and I was not going to let the momentum stop.

Me: Nef I'd really like to hold up my promise of dinner. I heard about a new spot and would love if you'd accompany me.

Nef: I thought you would never ask.

Me: Is 7:15 tonight a good time.

Nef: Yes, its perfect.

Me: I'll see you then.

At this point I was on a high and no one was putting me down.

Throughout the day we were back to emailing, cause my whole cracked phone screen. I was so excited I called up the restaurant found out their menu and the whole works.

7:12p I pulled up at Nef's house. This Queen was standing in her verandah waiting.

I get out to meet her, escorted her to the van and made the grave mistake of opening the door for her. She didn't hesitate to put me in my place. "You've allowed yourself to be indoctrinated by the patriarchal system. By you opening the door you are hindering my independence...

...i am an independent woman and I will like to be treated as such."

She went on for about 3 minutes. I was confused but I understood her position and respected it. Once she was over, I apologised and it was back to regular conversation.

We pull at the restaurant and our reserved table is set exactly as I requested. We sit down to order and I may have whispered to the waiter that “we were going Dutch.” Apparently Nef either didn’t hear or wasn’t aware of what the term meant.

The date was perfect, we had so much fun. Conversation was flowing, so too was the wine. I ordered a bottle she ordered 3. We got there like 8p and didn’t realize how long we been there till we saw the people packing up to go.

Called for the bill & the waiter comes with two, hands me mine and gives Nef hers. I take my card puts in the little folder thingy and hands the waiter back. Nef is looking at hers and up at me over and over again. The waiter realized what’s up and says “I’ll give you a min”

Once she leaves.

Nef: You’re not paying?

Me: I didn’t want to give you the impression that I was indoctrinated by the patriarchal system. I’ve noticed you’re an independent woman and I was giving you the opportunity to practice said independence.

I could see this woman was hanging on to every word I was saying, just like the first time we met. I instantly regretted it cause I could see the tears building in her eyes.

The waiter makes her back to our table, hands me my card and receipt and Nef is still there with a confused and embarrassed look on her face. I take her bill put my card with it and hands the waiter. Nef gets up immediately and heads out the restaurant.

I get outside, unlock the door and this Queen is just standing there with visible tears in her eyes. We get in the van and this Queen goes;

Nef: You really just embarrassed me like that? I thought you were different, you’re just like all the other guys.

Me: Nah, I’m worst.

The ride back was nothing nothing but silence. Only thing you heard was my engine roaring.

To this day I regret how I handled situation and every now and I miss those awesome few days we had.