When extreme emotions engulf you

you lose the ability to think straight.

Reason?

Your emotional brain is 6 BILLION TIMES more active than your thinking brain.

No wonder it takes over.

So here are some healthy ways to deal with your strong emotions:

A thread

1. Pause and take a breather

When you feel intense and extreme emotions rising,

here’s what you do first:
-Stop.
-Take a pause.
-Breathe in deep.
-Visualize the breathes rising deep from your belly.

Hold your breath for a count of three, then let it out slowly.

You will find this extremely difficult.

You will feel you are in danger.

You will feel the urge you to act now.

Fight or flight.

But resist that urge.

Remember that you are not in control right now.

If you react now, you will regret it later.

Keep breathing mindfully

until you’re back in control.

Practice this and you will be able to increase your tolerance around extreme emotions.

2. Give your emotions a name

Now that you’ve calmed down a bit,

label your emotions.

What exactly are you feeling now?

Are you nervous?

Are you disappointed?

Are you sad? Confused? Furious?

Before you can change how you feel,

you have to know what is it that you want to change.

You can feel proxy emotions as well.

Anger is often a proxy for emotions that you want to hide

like shame and embarrassment.

And you can feel several emotions at once like
- anxiety
- frustration
- impatience

So try to be as clear and precise as you can.

3. Discover the ‘Why’ of your emotion.

Your emotions are neutral messengers.

They are here to guide you and give you clues.

Your job is to use the clues

to decode your emotions and solve the mystery.

You want to bring control back

and get the thinking brain engaged.

First, do a wellness inventory check.

Are you hungry, dehydrated, or just tired?

These basic physiological needs

often manifest as negative emotions.

Here's what you can do:
- Grab something nutritious to eat.
- Drink a glass of water.
- Take a shower.
- Take a nap.

Still no good?

Then dig deeper while staying present.

Do not swing back to the past for an explanation.

And don’t try to predict your future either.

Instead, try to think rationally

What’s unique about the current situation?

Why exactly are you upset?

Did someone rub you the wrong way?

Did they brush you off?

And then try to think

if there’s another explanation for their rudeness.

Is it possible that they were just having a bad day?

Or maybe they were in hurry?

Have they ever behaved like this with you before?

Don’t assume the worst-case scenario.

When you deliberately get your thinking circuits engaged like this

your strong emotions lose their hold over you.

4. Spoil yourself a little with Mood Boosters

When you’re feeling extreme emotions, you need a distraction first.

That’s where mood boosters come into play.

They are activities which you usually do when you’re happy.

What are your go-to happy activities?

It can be:
- Going for a walk
- Meditate for a few minutes
- Listen to uplifting music
- Reading a book
- Talking to a friend or a loved one
- Creating a gratitude list
- Writing a story or a poem
- Playing with play-doh

- Drawing and painting

But remember that this is only a temporary filler.

Your work is still not done.

You don’t want to block or avoid your feelings.

You only want to distract yourself for a while

until the intensity of your emotions lowers to a manageable limit.

5. Bring your feelings to the real world

Now the fun part begins.

This is where you make your emotions tangible.

Make them something real.

Unleash them upon the world.

But how do you do that?

Pick your choice:
- Draw how you’re feeling.
- Punch and scream into a pillow
- Write about how you feel in your journal.
- Engage in exercise, martial art, or dancing.
- Write an expletive-laden letter to someone. Then rip the letter into pieces and burn it.

You’ll feel the tide ebbing slowly.

Your emotions are now out of your system.

You now know what has been bothering you.

Now you’ll figure out how best to respond

keeping in mind your goals and your personal values.

6. Choose how you want to react

This is the part you have been gearing up for.

Now that you’ve wrestled control from your feeling brain,

let the thinking brain do its job.

Think.

Ask yourself “what’s the solution?”

How can you take back control?

Feeling alone and too overwhelmed thinking about a solution?

Then ask for help.

Go and talk to a loved one.

Text a friend or someone whom you trust.

Call a family member.

Listen to their opinions.

It will broaden your view

and give you potential solutions.

Has someone’s behavior upset you?

Talk to them.

Confront their behavior in a polite but assertive manner.

Use this template as is or modify as per your need:

“When you <do this>, then <this happens>, and I feel <what you feel>.
I’d prefer <if you do this>”

Upset by an external event?

Think about what’s still in control.

What aspects are not?

Can they be managed?

Still a no?

Then just accept it and let it go.

Now that you are not at the mercy of your emotions,

a myriad of ways and options will be available to you.

Here's a quick summary of what to do when emotions are running high:
- take a pause and breathe.
- name your emotions.
- find out why they came into being
- distract and fortify yourself for a while
- then get back cracking at a solution.

If this thread has helped you and you feel like it could help someone else,

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