If loving him is wrong

It was a nice atmosphere outside and, the weather under the tree was cool. The sun had turned orange with little visibility, making the clime gay, near surreal. It was the type of evening you don’t want to end because,you don’t experience such often during

the season.

I was reading a book, slowly digesting it, a romance novel, to pass time. I could hear the sound of various vendors around; I could perceive distinct aroma from restaurants around. The redolence from those cook rooms reminded me of some snacks I had reserved, to eat

before going back to class and study for my finals.I was caught by a scent, amidst the aroma, quite strong, it made me feel like I was in a garden surrounded by daisies.The scent was familiar but I could not recall what it was. A silhouette appeared above me of a person’s head,

it looked familiar but I couldn’t tell who. I reflected briefly and, yes, I remembered; ‘this is Femi’. In case you don’t know, Femi was a handsome guy with a killer smile and great eyes. He was every girl’s dream kind of guy. He was always nicely dressed, talked smoothly and

eloquently. He was never my type, don’t get me wrong, that was simply because he had too many ladies around him. I guess I decided to spare myself the rigors of an imminent heartbreak. So, I relieved my mind of his amazing personality.

The voice said “hello” from behind me. I could not resist the softness of the sound and the look on his face. I was blushing inside but firm outside. I closed the novel and replied him, making effort not to sound affected by his presence. He sat by my side and tried to introduced

himself. I thought to myself ‘You fool! Of course, I know who you are!’. To cut the story short he was too smooth to be rejected and didn’t know when I fell for his charming voice. After our final exams I kept it real with him but no sex yet and, he understood as well. I couldn’t

just let him have the good cookie, and I wasn’t a virgin, don’t get me wrong. When we graduated, I was posted to the Niger delta for my service corps and, so was Femi. We kept our relationship going and eventually, I succumbed and let him have the good cookie. It felt good

because I had been celibate for years.After service, I expected to have secured a job, but that did not happen, meanwhile I still lived with my parents. Femi travelled out of the country five months later, for his masters, and promised to keep in touch. He kept in touch and asked

if I was ready to be married.I wasn’t sure yet at the time, mainly because I had not secured a job, though, I helped manage my mother’s business and made some money for myself. Afterwards, Femi stopped contacting me.I learnt he got engaged to someone in England and I also learnt

he dated the lady while we were together. I wish I knew I was just a lady he kept for his sexual needs. I couldn’t tell anyone and I was almost 30; most of my friends were married with kids. Before my younger brother came back from England, my sisters introduced me to someone at

at their church, but it did not work out between us because, the guy was too demanding. My younger brother introduced another guy to me, he was like Femi. I travelled and met him and, we went for a date. From there I started having butterflies in my stomach because, he was a

perfect gentleman. In short we got married few months later. Julius had his own business as a consultant and, had many clients. He and my brother did business together at times and they had common clients too. My husband was a gentleman and so never aroused any suspicion that he

might be cheating.There were times I felt it was too strange for him to be that perfect. I mean he came home early and straight from work; he didn’t keep too many friends other than being with a few married friends and my brother watching soccer.Julius was a man most women would

love; he seemed very private and busy with family. Anyway my sisters and I were planning a surprise party for my mum and needed to brief my brother about it. My brother was unmarried and handsome too and, he had had his share of escapades with the opposite sex.

I decided to stop by his house on my way home to brief him about the party plans. His apartment was an abode for the guys, they usually gather there to watch and play video games because most times he worked from home. My brother and I lived together before I got married, so I

still had a key with me. I was also pressed to use the bathroom. I parked my car and I did not check if his car was outside or not, I was really in a hurry to get to the bathroom. The living room was a bit messy, the video game running and half bottle of wine on the table.

Something else caught my attention, I saw Julius’ watch on the table with his cufflinks, that I had bought for him. I looked again and saw his underwear on the floor, the pants he wore to work. My heart started beating fast. ‘My greatest fear has finally come to pass.

To be cont..

My husband is here with a girl.’ I was thinking. ‘So he brings girls to my brother’s house and I don’t suspect’.I tried thinking about what to do and couldn’t come up with any ideas. I summoned the courage and climbed up the stairs. I had totally forgot I wanted to use the

bathroom, or perhaps the need was no more. My bladder seemed to have behaved and respected the superiority of my pressing senses. I got to the door, my hand on the knob already but I couldn’t bring myself to turn it. I was scared and angry, but anger prevailed.

. I pushed the door open, and behold my husband, in bed with someone else, having sex. I was surprised at myself later, that my immediate response or concern was not the situation I met my husband in, but whom he was in bed with.

I wasn’t, exactly, interested in startling them yet “Who is this person?” I yelled in my head as I twisted and turned my neck so as to see the person’s face. Their despicable position hindered me from seeing who it was from my stand point because, he was penetrating

his partner from behind.I must have been in the room for at least 20 seconds before I realized who it was my husband was in a dog style position with. I yelled his name. I blinked several times,thinking what I was staring at couldn’t be real, as both of them startled and scramble

I was in horror and shock, dismayed, I lost balance turning and dashed out of the room crying. I saw Julius and my

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brother in bed, having sex. My husband is cheating on me with my brother, my own blood. I rushed to my car and started driving home, it was more like racing; I almost hit another car. My crying wasn’t just because my husband cheated, he did it with my blood brother;

they were men and I saw them having sex. “oh my god, oh my god,” I kept crying and felt betrayed. I thought to myself ‘my brother is gay and so is my husband!’I got home and parked. I thought about it real deep and I decided I couldn’t tell anyone, not even my sisters.

I was ashamed. Also, it was still a strange phenomenon and, not many people had encountered such, especially, in a country like Nigeria, where I grew up. “But why would they do that to me, my husband and my brother? “Is this my fault, that I never noticed? “

“What went wrong along the way? Are they straight or bisexual? “Were they just drunk and started fooling around or what?”These questions kept coming to me and, I realized the signs were probably there and I just didn’t pay attention to them; the way he moved at times and how

close he was to my brother.
I met my husband through my brother, “but why me?”. The phone rang and it was my brother. He expressed guilt. “I can’t explain what happened”. he pleaded and begged. My husband was quiet; I didn’t know what to say than to cast aspersions on them;

I was outraged. I later minimized the insult and, told Julius never to come back to the house. I also told my brother not to speak to me anymore. I never shared their secret with anyone and, I have been living alone since last year, a single’s life. I left my husband and most

people still don’t know the real reason, and to those I gave reason, I told them I caught him cheating on me, right in the act, but I offered no further detail. I shielded my family from the disgrace and gossip. I love my brother and he betrayed my trust. I don’t wish him dead

like I always thought for my husband, because he is my brother.
I have a 2 years old daughter now and still don’t know what to tell her about her father.I haven’t spoken to anyone about it and, I feel troubled trusting men that wants me now. I am not divorced yet, just separated

I have told my sisters and family to desist from asking me to take my husband back, and I never told them why I stopped talking to my brother. I don’t care what people say. They believe his offence was that he knew the supposed woman my husband had the affair with, and that he

and that he probably allowed the affair take place in his house without informing me.What they did not know was that my brother betrayed me by introducing his friend to me. However, by the look in my mom’s eyes at times, I could, almost certainly, say she knows something about my

and she’s afraid to say, as mother and son are very close. I, actually, don’t care anymore; whatever she knows let her keep it to herself as I keep mine. My problem now is my inability to decide what I want to do about the two of them. I don’t know if I should divorce him or

settle with him and take him back, because he is the father of my child. I don’t know if I should or could forgive my brother, or just forget the two of them. My brother is getting married soon and, I hope the fiancée knows who he is.

Do you think she should take the husband back..forgive the brother or tell the brother's wife to be

I wish I could tell her, as retribution. At times, I wish my father could just come out one day and say my brother is not his son.

The End....

The last piece I decided not to include...