Jules and Dora have been hanging out a lot lately.

Here’s the thing about both of them: they’re very chaotic dogs. They live in fast-forward. Which makes them perfect playmates, because the other dogs can find them annoying.

They’re also both very affectionate. But they don’t always get to cuddle like they want, because, like I said—chaos.

If kisses and cuddles are their love language, how will they know that I love them?

Well, about once a month I give them a present.

The present is my face.

Yup, that’s right. They get to do whatever they want to my face, and I don’t pull away.

I love you, Dora!

The trick is to cover your face with one hand if you don’t want a tongue in your mouth. Which I do not. That is my boundary.

Jules takes a thorough approach.

He goes for face...

...hair...

...and both ears.

But yesterday we upped the stakes.

Dora and Jules were hanging out together anyway, and I figured, what the heck? What’s the worst that can happen if I just hold my breath and let them both lick my face at once?

Well—

[audio: incredibly rapid slobbering]