ok I have a confession to make you know those memes where they point out the weird kid who probably bit people in preschool. Well in preschool I WAS the playground biter. More context in the comments

back in preschool there was a plastic castle structure with a table inside where every day I would go hunt for shiny rocks and stash them under the table in a hole I dug in the sand. I believed that I was collecting these rocks for my princess who was basically sailor mars

one day I drew an elaborate map of where I was keeping these rocks in case someday I forgot or would need a successor. but then this bully, this blonde kid named Cody, stole my map from me. And so I bit him in the arm.

He started screaming and I knew I was in big trouble so I started running before the playground supervisors could get there. I fell over and got a nasty scrape on my knee. Anyways I ran back to the plastic castle and hid under the table and was shaking

The playground supervisors found me and one of them Miss Andrea (she terrified me because she kinda highkey looked like chucky the doll) was like. Ok games up [redacted] you are getting a time out while I went on all fours and started growling at her. I was like... 4-5?

she said that’s enough and reached out to pull me out and out of reflex I BIT HER TOO (stupid move) and she was yelling as well and then two people came in and pulled me out while I was thrashing and the rest of the kids were watching and terrified

so for the next two weeks or a month I could not play on the playground. Someone stole all my rocks and I had to sit with miss Andrea as the other kids got to play. When she wasn’t around ppl would go like “YOURE THE BITER WOOF WOOF” I was really distraught

anyways I did get to play again but then I got in trouble for telling other kids it was ok to eat certain rocks. anyways I’m fine now. I just wanted to let you all know that I was really something else as a child. My mom thought I was a demon sent to test her. The end

if I wrote a book on my life I am convinced everyone would think I was lying but no I am actually like this. You have to take my word for this.