TW: trauma, abuse, stalking

Hello - as I've spoken about before, I'm currently seeing a psychologist for help with overcoming complex trauma. One thing I've really been struggling with is feeling safe when out in public - today was my second session and we addressed this. (1)

I've now got a safety plan in place with contingencies at every 'choice stage' should I be out and about and the worst should happen. While this doesn't address the underlying cause, it does help me feel more secure and less constantly on-guard when I'm in public. (2)

One thing my therapist mentioned as part of this is something I think others might find useful so I'm sharing it here - it's an app called 'Hollie Guard'. (Appropriately named in spite of it's incorrect spelling of Holly, but anyway) (3)

The app does several brilliant things:
- if you're in public and you're in danger, you can shake your phone and it creates an alert - this then sends your GPS location to named, trusted contacts
- the app also begins recording when an alert is raised, both audio and video (4)

- you can set it to track a journey so if you're walking home alone, you can let someone know the route you're taking
- you can set up a 'meeting', whereby an alert is raised if you don't check in after a set time (set by you) (5)

- the app also has a 'report' feature which allows you to anonymously report harassment, stalking, and domestic abuse
- it also allows you to do a test alert so you can check it works before using it in public for real (6)

My issue with the app is that while the app icon is fairly innocuous, it does come up as 'Hollie Guard', which in situations where an abuser is perhaps monitoring your phone, might not be suitable. But otherwise, I think it's a great tool and worth sharing. (7)

In my situation, where I'm constantly anxious walking in public on my own (I'm working on it!) it works really well. I've set it up so that if something were to happen, all I have to do is shake my phone and my partner is notified that I'm not safe, where I am, and... (8)

...the phone starts recording what's happening, should it come to any proceedings where evidence might be needed. My phone also puts out a noise and light alert, so that passers-by are alerted that I'm in danger. This app, plus my safety plan, have been good first steps. (9)

Having or needing this app in itself is a scary thing, and a bit sad because nobody should ever need this. My therapist herself commented on that, saying she feels sad telling people about these kinds of things because it's not something that should ever be necessary. (10)

But having it there, knowing that I have this small bit of protection in public and if something happens I have action I can take, is helpful and soothing. Currently I go from my house on the bus to work and then straight back again or to my partner's house, and... (11)

...that routine, with minimal chance of interaction and not much being out on the streets or in busy city centres, is my entire feeling of safety. Gradually, I'm going to have to expose myself to the scary things but I'm working up to it and this is a good contingency. (12)

ALSO: you can customise every aspect of the alert like so: