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I’ve seen some people genuinely curious about what trauma Nesta has besides being changed into fae and experiencing the war, and also what attempts she’s made at atoning for her earlier behaviour so... here’s a thread 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😌" title="Erleichtertes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Erleichtertes Gesicht"> (TW below)
TW / neglect, sexual assault, abuse, kidnapping, death, war
Sorry if I’ve missed any!
Sorry if I’ve missed any!
First of all I’d recommend rereading chapter 30 of ACOTAR, as Nesta is honest and emotionally vulnerable here (screenshots with the next tweet) and the extra scene ‘Wings and Embers’ from ACOMAF as this is from Nesta’s POV (attached)
They are both very important, as we need to look at Nesta critically as a character aside from the POV the author portrays her through - her sister Feyre - and imagine her own thoughts and feelings (and possible reasoning for her behaviour) as we cannot witness them directly.
- Their mother, who was ‘imperious and cold with her children’, died when Nesta was 11 (survivors guilt, abandonment)
- As the only mother figure Nesta had, that behaviour likely influenced how she acted once she became the matriarch of the family (burden of responsibility)
- As the only mother figure Nesta had, that behaviour likely influenced how she acted once she became the matriarch of the family (burden of responsibility)
- Their family lost all their fortune, their home, and the standards of living they were used to due to her fathers failed business venture (resentment)
- Nesta witnessed creditors violently ransack both their homes, and permanently injure her father (survivors guilt)
- Nesta witnessed creditors violently ransack both their homes, and permanently injure her father (survivors guilt)
- Their family was ostracised from society and lost the friends and community they had (isolation, prejudice, classism)
- Their father did not accept the responsibility of feeding and caring for his family (resentment, abandonment)
- Their father did not accept the responsibility of feeding and caring for his family (resentment, abandonment)
- Following the example set by their father, Nesta didn’t accept any responsibility as the eldest sibling (resentment, helplessness, unworthiness)
- Feyre provided for the family due to the promise their mother begged her to make while she lay dying, but kept this a secret
- Feyre provided for the family due to the promise their mother begged her to make while she lay dying, but kept this a secret
- Nesta thought this should have been her responsibility, but allowed Feyre to accept it as she already bore the necessary skills to hunt (resentment, failure to protect, guilt, shame)
- Nesta subconsciously refused to be effected by Tamlin’s glamour and as a result retained memories of Tamlin in beast form breaking into their home, threatening them, and forcing Feyre to leave with him (guilt, reminder of previous trauma, failure to protect)
- Even though they were restored their fortune and returned to their previous standing in society, Nesta rode out to the wall and tried to get through to retrieve Feyre, despite the danger involved. She was unable to do so (helplessness, guilt, regret, failure to protect)
- Nesta was courting Thomas Mandray, and realised he wouldn’t have gone with her to retrieve Feyre from Prythian, so she tried to end their courtship and he attempted to rape her (helplessness, lack of consent and bodily autonomy)
- Nesta was raised to hate fae as humans were historically oppressed by them, despite this she agreed to host the meeting between the Fae and mortal queens in their family home (first attempt at atonement)
- Nesta was abducted by Tamlin and forced to become fae through the cauldron, which was torturous both physically and mentally (helplessness, reminder of previous trauma, lack of consent and bodily autonomy)
- Nesta also witnessed her sister Elain be forced to become fae (guilt, failure to protect)
- Despite becoming fae and still dealing with the repercussions of this transition, Nesta attended the meeting of the High Lords to aid Feyre’s cause (second attempt at atonement)
- Despite becoming fae and still dealing with the repercussions of this transition, Nesta attended the meeting of the High Lords to aid Feyre’s cause (second attempt at atonement)
- Nesta watched her father, a man she harboured a lot of resentment for, die trying to defend her (survivors guilt, regret)
- Nesta became an orphan (abandonment, reminder of previous trauma)
- Nesta became an orphan (abandonment, reminder of previous trauma)
- During the final battle Nesta tried to protect a gravely injured Cassian despite having no training, then she decided to cover his body with hers so they would die together, rather than leave him (regret, reminder of previous trauma, failure to protect)
- She killed someone for the first time (third attempt at atonement)
That was a lot, right?https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😪" title="Verschlafenes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Verschlafenes Gesicht">
And the mental health issues such as depression and PTSD, that she has developed as a result of this trauma, do not manifest in the same way that they do for our protagonist Feyre.
And the mental health issues such as depression and PTSD, that she has developed as a result of this trauma, do not manifest in the same way that they do for our protagonist Feyre.
Feyre’s processing of her trauma could be deemed more feminine and acceptable; she is seldom angry towards others or defensive, and often internalises her feelings to not make other characters uncomfortable.
But this does not mean Nesta is wrong for being angry and defensive, and using self destructive behaviour (alcoholism and hyper-sexuality, shown in ACOFAS) as a coping mechanism.
This is actually a very common response. When your mind and body gives you the option of ‘fight or flight’ but you can’t escape the situation, as the circumstances of what is happening are beyond your control and consent, then you will try to fight them.
Nesta is a fighter, but as she is not yet trained with weapons, she fights the only way she knows how - emotionally, with words. This is why she often acts angry, defensive, stubborn, and aloof.
Every recovery is different, and before recovery is possible there can be denial, anger, and guilt. Of course she also has to accept she has trauma in the first place, which is difficult for a stubborn and emotionally independent person to do.
I believe a more realistic, non-linear depiction of recovery in ACOSF will help a lot of readers feel validated about their response to and recovery from trauma.
Finally, here’s a conversation between Feyre and Cassian that really helped me understand and empathise with Nestahttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💗" title="Wachsendes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Wachsendes Herz">
Finally, here’s a conversation between Feyre and Cassian that really helped me understand and empathise with Nesta
" title="I believe a more realistic, non-linear depiction of recovery in ACOSF will help a lot of readers feel validated about their response to and recovery from trauma.Finally, here’s a conversation between Feyre and Cassian that really helped me understand and empathise with Nestahttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💗" title="Wachsendes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Wachsendes Herz">">
" title="I believe a more realistic, non-linear depiction of recovery in ACOSF will help a lot of readers feel validated about their response to and recovery from trauma.Finally, here’s a conversation between Feyre and Cassian that really helped me understand and empathise with Nestahttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💗" title="Wachsendes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Wachsendes Herz">">
Retweet this thread if you believe in
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🔪" title="Küchenmesser" aria-label="Emoji: Küchenmesser">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">Nesta rightshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🔪" title="Küchenmesser" aria-label="Emoji: Küchenmesser">
