Thread by @_ninjahh, I got pregnant during quarantine with my bf who left me. I [...]

I got pregnant during quarantine with my bf who left me. I tried fixing us pero pagkatapos ng lahat, we still ended up this way. I distanced from social media kase alam kong iju-judge ako ng mga tao for being pregnant at 17 during quarantine, gusto kong iabort ang bata na

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nagpapa alala sakin ng past. Gusto ko lang naman ng makaka intindi at sabihin saken na "nexie, it& #39;s not your fault, nagmahal ka lang" (long thread, let me vent po)

Andaming nagtanong kung bakit ako nag hiatus sa twt, anong nangyari samin ni Josh, at kumusta na mental health ko (para sa mga nakaka alam ng depression issues ko) Okay naman talaga lahat eh. We used to talk about our future together, ilan magiging anak namin

plano naming mag s*x sa vatican at yung mga sweet long messages niya parati

Then na notice ko yung isang girl na tina tag niya parati sa mga memes on fb so i opened up kung bakit ganon? Ang sarap ng usapan niyo eh nandito naman ako? i want to be your best friend nd girl at the same time, di ba pwede?

He started getting cold nung May. Nagtaka ako like?? Did i do something wrong? Ba& #39;t parang may nag-iba? We used to feel butterflies kahit thru chat lang pero ngayon, iba talaga eh. Alam niyo yung parang may gut feeling kayo na.. his attention is somewhere else?

Parang nafeel ko tuloy na baka ang boring ko na kausap o baka nagsawa na siya lalo na quarantine, i can& #39;t come over to his house

So I started telling my friends about it at nag-ask nga rin ako sa mga barkada niya if what& #39;s going on between the two? Pero tangina hindi mo talaga mapagkakatiwalaan barkada ng lalaki bc they will cover up for the shit

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Leicht lächelndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Leicht lächelndes Gesicht">

So I started telling my friends about it at nag-ask nga rin ako sa mga barkada niya if what& #39;s going on between the two? Pero tangina hindi mo talaga mapagkakatiwalaan barkada ng lalaki bc they will cover up for the shit https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

" title="So I started telling my friends about it at nag-ask nga rin ako sa mga barkada niya if what& #39;s going on between the two? Pero tangina hindi mo talaga mapagkakatiwalaan barkada ng lalaki bc they will cover up for the shit https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Leicht lächelndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Leicht lächelndes Gesicht">">

Umabot sa point na dineretso ko na si josh sa status namin at eto na nga, he broke up with me

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" title="Umabot sa point na dineretso ko na si josh sa status namin at eto na nga, he broke up with me https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Leicht lächelndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Leicht lächelndes Gesicht">">

hindi ko kinaya yung sakit kase hindi ko maintindihan kung san ako nag kulang, was there someone else, did i say smthng wrong and it was still all unclear to me

it was last week of may at alam kong bawal pa rin lumabas ang minors pero alam ko ring carry lang naman tumakas and i know this is urgent!

i can& #39;t lose someone i love and quarantine isn& #39;t gonna stop me from keeping him so umalis ako just before lunch kase mas mahirap pag hapon bc of the curfew

na surprise siya nung nakita niya ako sa labas ng gate at dinalhan ko pa siya ng paborito niyang jabee, and we talked. he said he choose me! grabe ansaya ko nung narinig kong sinabi niya ulit ang i love you

pero ofc di dun nagtapos ang nangyari samin sa bahay nila.

wala nung time na yon sila tita at tito kaya nauwi kami sa kwarto. Ang bobo ko rin kase dahil sa rush at panic, di ako nakadala ng condom (well di rin naman ako nag expect na we will end up having sex) but fuck na miss ko talaga siya at namiss din daw niya ako

sabi niya mag pupull-out method daw kami, we kinda knew the risks but there were no other ways that time

When we were doing it sobrang kinakabahan ako. Twas the first time na di kami gagamit ng condom. And you know pag nag sesex minsan nadadala tayo sa bugso ng damdamin kaya nung malapit na siyang maano nakalimutan niya mag pull out and planted everything inside.

And panic is seen all over my face pero ang ogag hindi man lang kinabahan sabi niya e ihi ko lng daw okay na

tangina i was so nervous that time, yung nakakalito pero.. masaya rin.. we got back together and that mattered the most

Dumating ang june nung nagka labuan na naman kami. Ewan ko parati nlng kaming ganito. And ang mas iniisip ko ay bakit hindi pa ako dinadatnan. I know my body at alam ko always on time ang period cycle ko.

I had searched sa google all the possible reasons kung bakit late ang period ko. In it all boils down to one result- pregnancy. And nung napuno na ako, I decided to end everything. I realized I was in a toxic relationship and I wanna save myself habang maaga pa.

It was july 21- alas dos ng umaga hindi ako maka tulog. I was overthinking a lot of things. And one thing is for sure, hindi okay and body ko at kahit kinakabahan I made a mental note to take pregnancy tests the next day.

July 22- I took 2 pregnancy test and it was both positive. It was there and then na hindi ko alam anong iisipin ako, ang reaction ng pamilya ko o ang pera panggastos o ang magiging reaksyon ng mga kaibigan ko. Twas the loswet point of my life honestly

I was diagnosed with putanginang depression.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Leicht lächelndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Leicht lächelndes Gesicht">

I didn& #39;t know what to do. Masking ang mama ko hindi ako matingnan sa aking mga mata. I was looking for clinics who accepts abortion because I didn& #39;t know what else to do aside from the fact that I wanna get rid of this thing growing inside me.

I am currently 3 months pregnant, still studying and doesn& #39;t even have a source of income. Each day I am contemplating as to what action I would take regarding my situation.

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