Insisting Achilles and Patroclus had no intimate relationship because you can’t accept a hero being attracted to his own gender: Not Good

Insisting Achilles and Patroclus MUST have been intimate because you undervalue the grief of losing your friend/fellow warrior: Also Not Good
Whether A&P were sexually intimate during the course of the Iliad is never explicitly stated and I don’t believe it matters, within the context of the Iliad. Achilles’ rage is driven by grief, whether it is the loss of a current lover or a dearest friend makes no difference.
I fully believe you can be moved to divine rage by the death of anyone you care for, be it a lover, be it a childhood friend and companion in war. The severity of his emotional reaction isn’t really evidence of or a testament for their level of sexual intimacy.
The interpretation of A&P as lovers, especially taking into account their depictions outside the confines of Homer, is perfectly sound and has plenty of basis and it’s understandable that they have become emblematic of gay love and intimacy in antiquity and beyond!
To fully discount the possibility that two elite warrior men could have been in love with each other, of course has some roots in homophobia and historic queer erasure. But, as ever, these things are more nuanced than ‘any interpretation not seeing them as lovers is homophobic.’
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