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uhm i think so many things are wrong with wei wuxian and not enough people explore that thoroughly. the amount of emotional baggage and trauma he went through, not just as yiling laozu but everything else in his childhood leading up to that?
you think just anyone would have thought about using resentful energy to do good and creating demonic cultivation? there are so many harmful patterns in wwx& #39;s behaviour due to the shit he experienced in his life.
the stiff men around him growing up, how they knew nothing of being in contact with their emotions while wwx was such a sensitive kid who needed it so bad, tbe lack of a mother& #39;s love that was barely replaced by his sisters affection, his insecurity and fear of being left.
his tendency towards dealing with everything on his own, not only because he thinks he can and needs to feel strong as opposed to helpless, but because he doesn& #39;t want to be a bother to anyone else.
the approval he craves, even as he does exactly the opposite to what everyone expects from him and therefore fuels the narrative of himself as a mistfit and a disappointment. how far everyone in his life turned their backs on him.
the way he learned that love is limited and conditional; not entirely truthful. love is a debt, a matter of circumstance, duty, an obligation. how he grew to be an arrogant emo teen, as all of us who were misjudged instead of listened to when we had so much we wanted to share did
how all this baggage, later on, even as he& #39;s fallen in love, translates into his relationship with lwj. how wwx will brush off his own sadness as a joke. how he won& #39;t ser boundries, doesn& #39;t know how, is too afraid he will be left if he doesn& #39;t give lwj everything he wants.
same way wwx felt as though everyone& #39;s lives and blood were constantly in his hands; as though he was the only one who saw the suffering and injustice going on, screaming around him, hence, making it his responsibility to save everyone, even if that means dooming himself.
imagine how long it takes, to walk backwards through 30+ years of trauma. now watch me dive into a wwx character study even tho i havent finished the lwj one yet.
so much was expected of wwx, not only because he was "a prodigy", but because he was an outsider. he felt that the admiration and respect everyone had for his abilities was as close as he could come to approval, to belonging. which is why he assigned himself the role of & #39;hero& #39;.
wwx thought the only reason he deserved a place in his family was his cultivation, his strength; and when he failed to be the one who protected lotus pier from its downfall, he took it as a sign of him biting the hand that fed him, he might as well have k!lled madam yu himself.
