Savage curses from around the world:

5. May a goose kick you (Poland)
4. May your VCR catch fire (Greece)
3. May your future child be born without a butthole (China)
2. May lightning strike your penis (India)
1. Let it be the will of god that you shit yourself (Bosnia)

More brutal curses:

5. May you shit a hedgehog (Romania)
4. May the bow of a violin enter your anus (Turkey)
3. May your obituary be written in weasel’s piss (Ireland)
2. May God burn your chickens (Palestine)
1. May you be fucked by a wheelbarrow-full of small monkeys (Hungary)

Please look away now if you’re of a gentle disposition, because here are the most merciless of them all, the Slovenian curses:

3. Naj ti ohrovt zgnije (may your kale rot)
2. Naj te koklja brcne (may the hen kick you)
1. Upam da ti ti traktor crkne (I hope your tractor breaks)

If you liked these tweets you will love The Correct Order of Biscuits – out Sept 17th (tomorrow) in all good (and evil) bookstores. May you laugh so loud while reading it that you get arrested for rowdy behaviour, and shit a thousand hedgehogs in jail