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Am watching Reign of Fire, which I& #39;ve been assured is an enjoyably earnest trash movie.
So far: Dragons killin& #39; everybody, and sweaty shirtless Christian Bale.
So far: Dragons killin& #39; everybody, and sweaty shirtless Christian Bale.
MWA-HAHAHA! THE MOVIE IS SET IN 2020!
Yeah, no, we& #39;re smiting way worse monsters than dragons in the real 2020. Sweaty!Batman, go put your mask on.
Yeah, no, we& #39;re smiting way worse monsters than dragons in the real 2020. Sweaty!Batman, go put your mask on.
Oh, gosh, here& #39;s Gerard Butler when he was still hot, speaking with his original Scottish accent. **fans self**
The in-movie, post-apocalyptic Star Wars re-enactment to entertain the waifs is all I had hoped it would be.
The waifs have been promised a re-enactment of The Lion King for the next eve& #39;s entertainment and sent off to bed by our heroes, ProtoBatman and HotScot. Next, the misguided sub-villains are off to advance the plot.
So a guy who looks like a cross between Tom Hiddleston and Riff Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show is currently thwarting the sub-villain& #39;s plot to eat tomatoes.
One of the sub-villains is a very pretty lad, but I don& #39;t think he& #39;s one of the lead actors, so he& #39;s probably going to be eaten by a dragon.
SAVE THE TOMATOES!
(A sub-villain got et, but the pretty-boy sub-villian was not the one.)
(A sub-villain got et, but the pretty-boy sub-villian was not the one.)
They& #39;re trapped by flaming tomatoes. Mistakes were made.
HEROIC HAZMAT SUIT TO THE RESCUE.
Can& #39;t wait for ProtoBatman to yell at the sub-villains and explain to them how the flaming tomatoes have advanced the plot.
Can& #39;t wait for ProtoBatman to yell at the sub-villains and explain to them how the flaming tomatoes have advanced the plot.
Live dragon. Dead truck.
Fire-fighters battling dragons; what could be more perfect.
No wonder the movie lead with a sweaty shirtless guy. They& #39;ve already sorted out the calendar.
No wonder the movie lead with a sweaty shirtless guy. They& #39;ve already sorted out the calendar.
Ah, they& #39;ve decided to drink raw alcohol and brood, not yell at the sub-villains.
Okay, if they don& #39;t have enough tomatoes to survive, then what are they making their moonshine out of? Maybe plot-holes.
Okay, if they don& #39;t have enough tomatoes to survive, then what are they making their moonshine out of? Maybe plot-holes.
"Firestorms Sweep the Mid-west" reads an old newspaper headline. Yep, there& #39;s the 2020 we know.
This movie is not going to pass the Bechdel test.
I think I& #39;ve spotted a total of four women so far, and the only one with a significant number of lines is the hero& #39;s tragically dead mom.
Scurry, scurry; unexpected humans spotted. Yes, we should definitely bring more guns for that than we did the dragon.