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to all my children 
i cursed you with life
to bless you with love.
i cursed you with life
to bless you with love.
***
when I was a kid, I strongly believed that I was a baby chipmunk or a squirrel, stuck in a nightmare where I was suffering as a human child. my childhood wasn't horrible but I always wondered why I felt little different from my peers.
when I was a kid, I strongly believed that I was a baby chipmunk or a squirrel, stuck in a nightmare where I was suffering as a human child. my childhood wasn't horrible but I always wondered why I felt little different from my peers.
I never actually woke up from that dream, i'm still a human, sadly.
of my mom's 10 children (i'm #8), I always wondered why I was born, especially why I was the only one who identified as bisexual.
of my mom's 10 children (i'm #8), I always wondered why I was born, especially why I was the only one who identified as bisexual.
through all the successes I have experienced over the years, I always felt like I was suffering or simply cursed with the burden of my humanity.
last night, in a flash, I remembered my chipmunk daydream while driving. I pulled over and wrote, "i cursed you with life, to bless you with love."
I think I may have written it in my mother's voice, and it was the only way I could explain why I exist today - and why she chose to have 10 children.
how intentional, how purposeful, how loving. I wrote that poem in hopes that I would stop wishing that I wasn't here, that I was somewhere else.
one day, I hope to feel blessed with life, too.
one day, I hope to feel blessed with life, too.
