The impossible questions we have to answer in order to investigate ‘women’s problems’ never cease to amaze me.

Furthering my frustration is the knowledge that if I get one ‘wrong’, the doctor might just pass it off as IBS, stress, dairy, or a giant poo instead of cancer.

‘How heavy is your period?’
Heavy

‘How heavy?’
In kilograms or lbs or...?

‘More than a tablespoon?’
Yes. Definitely. A fuck tonne of tablespoons and a saucepan.

‘When did your periods start being painful?’
Since they began.

‘How often do you have irregular bleeding?’
They’re irregular. I don’t know.

‘How big are your blood clots?’
The size of a finger.

‘Which finger?’
Are you fucking kidding me?

‘Pardon?’
Bigger than a toe, smaller than my leg.

‘When was your last smear?’
Is that not written down infront of you?

‘Why did you have an ultrasound in 2018?’
Because you told me to.

‘You had a colposcopy in 2014, what were the results?’
Well, I’m not dead so...Do you guys not have a record of this?

...as a footnote I went to A&E in Feb in agony, to be told I’d probably had a miscarriage, but they would have to send the thing I had passed (which I put in a plastic cup wrapped in cling film) off for tests.

When I called to find out, they weren’t allowed to give that info

Over the phone and then...pandemic.

It turned out to be endo tissue. And because of covid I had put it to the back of my mind and only now, in another month of period agony, forced myself to chase it all up.

I’m saying this to thank the women who make noise about endo on here.

It makes a difference.