spiritual practice:
trying to remember what my inner life was like before i was colonized by the bad news of christianity. i was 3. i can recall being disappointed at the “smallness” of what i was hearing, but i was already very lonely & my folks insisted & i couldn’t resist.

my folks are sweet people and i love them and am heartbroken that the same was done to them when they were tiny and they similarly had no choice but to “believe”. cycles of abuse. “sins” of the father.

this is a hard pill for believers to swallow, i know. what does he even mean? thinking of my own extended family reading these words i cringe & my cheeks flush. sometimes i feel like i'll never get over the pain of the misunderstanding between believers & non-believers.

current events, as i interpret them anyway, are deepening this divide. CRANKing up the tension.
i know others are experiencing this too, and maybe in isolation, which is why i share on here like this, so we can know we're not alone. love everybody. be honest w yoself