something i see happen a lot that really upsets me is when “trans allies” are so focused on the now and moving forward they totally forego the past and end up inadvertently dabbling in transphobia, especially towards the transmasc community i’m going to elaborate on that a little

nobody ever talks about the part where who you “were” is gone in the sense that in some peoples’ eyes, it’s like they never existed at all. you simply manifested, as they know you now. you can’t respect a person for who they are without showing respect for how they got there.

actually, it’s NOT transphobic to acknowledge that trans men had a drastically different social upbringing than cis men, and actually, it IS unfair to erase our entire lived experiences and assume we have the same outlook when engaging with society by virtue of being (trans) men

and furthermore, jokes about men being inherently horrible and disgusting and unlovable actually DO contribute to toxic masculinity. you’re just enforcing those ideas in an already vulnerable population that society encourages to behave that way, but lol man yucky right?

nobody really considers the effect constantly engaging with stuff like that has on trans guys, especially younger trans guys who may be suffering with feelings of intense doubt, self-loathing and dysphoria. i know it’s not about me, but it still makes me feel shitty about myself.

that’s not to say trans men and cis men can’t be equally horrible people, obviously, but assigning the same motives to our actions when we interact with the world around us just isn’t equitable. you can still treat us like men without demonizing us at every turn.

so no, i’m not going to perform toxic masculinity for you, and you’re not going to project it onto me either just because the simple act of my existence as anything but a woman makes you angry, sorry.

to clarify: yes trans men are perfectly capable of engaging in toxic masculinity. we’re not immune. literally nobody is. but trans men are not inherently toxic by virtue of embracing masculinity and more often than not accusations of such are just thinly veiled transphobia