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#notjustsad I am in a bad place again and I just wanna share a few things. For those who still don’t know or did not take it seriously: yeah, I suffer from depression from a young age (since I was a teenager basically and everyone thought it will go away, including me)
It stems from undiagnosed and therefore un”treated” (you cannot “heal” it) autism since childhood that has been causing strong feelings of alienation and being dismissed by others as rude, unusual and too challenging to deal with. Depression shows it’s ugly face differently...
everytime. While I mostly shut down and become numb, there are also phases of sadness and hopelessness (like right now). The appreciation of people who reach out and try to help somehow coexisting with the unwillingness to talk or associate with anyone. A feeling of uselessness.
The impression that all rejections ever faced be it romantically or sexually, as a friend, as a bad daughter, as a lazy person/student, someone who fakes their illness (because I am also bipolar and my better phases make the bad ones seem unreal to say the least) are justified.
There is a lot of imposter syndrome and powerlessness involved, too. I have no idea what the point of this thread actually is other than a short description of how it feels (if it does). Maybe just saying that people like me are #notjustsad
I forgot to turn off the comment function but don’t wanna type all this again, low energy and stuff. Write what you want if you want.
