I remember that I received so much kindness from a person during a low moment in my life, and I was so grateful, that I loved them more for it. And when the dynamic of our relationship took a step back from kindness, I couldn’t detach from recalling that moment.

I was stuck in a bad place longer than necessary because of this moment that was very kind.
And it made me realize just how much receiving kindness could be very blinding, especially when it’s needed.
That I was so grateful for it that my response to it was feeling indebted.

I would see things that I disliked, and then remember the kindness and make excuses for it.
“Maybe, they are having a rough day”
“Maybe, I’m being too sensitive.”

Surely that kindness means they are a caring person, if it changed, then maybe I am doing something wrong.

When i think back on the kindness I received that meant so much to me, it was something that I too would do for a person I cared about. My appreciation for it went beyond what it should. I didn’t know then that receiving kindness could also be manipulative.

My point is, people once being nice or kind to you, is lovely, but if their behavior changes gradually or even abruptly, pay attention.

The kindness they once showed is not a debt you have to pay to them.

Sometimes people use acts of kindness to get you attached to them.

Also, we are all deserving of consistency in acts of kindness. Because we live in such a hard world, we are so often blown away by crumbs of decency. It’s lovely to be appreciative, but never at your own peril. Thank you for your kindness, but I am outta here if it changes.