Thread by @vapemyworld, "The Zen master holds out a stick and tells his students: if [...]

The Way of Absolute Accountability

vapemyworld

"The Zen master holds out a stick and tells his students:

if they say the stick is real, he& #39;ll beat them with it." #quote

"He then tells them

he& #39;ll also beat them with it

if they say the stick& #39;s not real,

or if they just say nothing at all." #quote

"In response, the student steps forward

and breaks the stick.

Now the master can& #39;t beat them with it." #quote

"This story perfectly captures the psychology of double binds." #quote

"Abusers present targets with a stick

and ask them how they& #39;d like to be beaten." #quote

"Instead of answering that sadistic question,

targets need to learn to break sticks." #quote

"One of the things that stops target& #39;s identifying solutions to double binds

is that they& #39;re trained to anticipate what the abuser wants,

in the perpetual false hope that by pleasing the abuser,

they can avoid a negative outcome." #quote

"Preparing deflections to break the abuser& #39;s flow

gives you an escape hatch

which you can activate at any time." #quote

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