Okay so I used to be really big in the VLD fandom (I know, I know. I hate to admit it out loud). There was a big fic in that fandom called Hearts Don’t Break Around Here (HDBAH). It’s 135k and I read it in one sitting and it was so beautiful that it ruined my life.

Which sounds dramatic and is, a little bit, dramatic. But mostly it’s right. I read it and I loved it so thoroughly. I was certain I could never write anything that beautiful, that I could never get the little nuances of emotions just right, build tension the same way.

My friends had to ban me from reading it because I almost gave up writing completely in response to it. I was so certain I could never write anything even close to that good so why bother? That, mixed with some pretty bad burnout, and I didn’t write for 8 months.

I bring this up now because I recognize that feeling again now that I’m reading On The Same Page. I’ll never write a fic that good. Not ever, I can’t even come close to it. I know that and yeah, it stings a bit to know and I kind of want to just avoid docs for awhile.

But I’ve learned a lot from my last experience with this. Namely: every fic is different, every author is different, and every reader is different. We, as authors, are incapable of seeing our fics the way readers see it. I don’t care how long you wait before reading it.

We see it and think about how we meant for it to go, what we could have changed, the parts we struggled with. Readers don’t see that. It makes it hard for us to judge our fics fairly and accurately. Secondly, people have different tastes. All my friends read HDBAH

And none of them felt the need to give up writing over it. What is your all time favorite fic won’t be someone else’s. And I’m certain your fic is an absolute favorite of many people’s. That fic you love and feel like you can’t measure up to?

There are people out there who will love your fic more than that. People with different tastes. Just because YOU think your fic is inferior doesn’t mean anyone else does. I learned that the hard way and it’s still hard to stomach sometimes.

I guess my point is: don’t compare yourself to other artists/authors, don’t belittle yourself like that. You can’t write like that author you love because you’re not them. But there are people who want to be able to write like you!

The grass is always greener on the other side, as they say, but that’s only true if you don’t water your own grass. Read the fics you love, learn from them, grow and develop your own skill, but NEVER try to live up to someone else. Never try to compare.

There are people out there who will pick your fic over the one you love so much, I guarantee it. Your fic will be someone’s favorite. Don’t rob people of that because you decided you couldn’t be good enough. You are good enough and you’re going to get better. I promise

It amazes me every time someone comments on one of my fics. It humbles me. I almost gave that up. I don’t want to see you guys doing it too!

Reading makes you a better writer, it helps you develop your craft. So by all means, read as much as you want! Study the things you read, figure out what works, what doesn’t, what you want to try. That’s invaluable to a writer.

But then remember that you are your own person with your own words and your own style and that your writing shouldn’t sound exactly like someone else’s and that your writing is special specifically for all the ways it DOESN’T sound like someone else’s writing.

Know that your voice and your story are necessary and important and that we want to hear it YOUR way, not the way someone else would tell it. It’s hard to learn to trust your own voice like that, I’m still struggling with it myself, but it’s important.