Thread by @imsecretlover, Hello, I don't know if anyone will see this, I created this [...]

Hello, I don't know if anyone will see this, I created this acc to talk about the love life of idols..
when your idol says that they have no time to have a relationship,they’re lying,I’m proof of that.I dated an idol of a famous kpop group, people will not believe me +

but I must expose some truths

my courtship with the idol that I will call "A", was not even close to a perfect relationship as many fans would imagine a relationship with an idol, fans thinks that celebrities are perfect people but in fact many of them are far away from it...

I was an trainee at a big company,we girls are warned about male idols who are too "friendly"with female trainees, we are advised to keep away from them, but they always try to get closer, and I was a fool who believed that I was special for having a handsome boy interested in me

it's been not so long ago, i'm trying to put together the right words to express myself better, this relationship was the end of my career that haven't even started, it's hard for me to talk about it..

when I was a trainee I met an idol that I admired, he was very kind to me, he was always kind to me, he asked us to become close, and I accepted, I felt lucky because someone I admired was interested in me but we didn't start dating quickly

i know i was wrong, i should have heard what was said to me i shouldn't have accepted to get closer to him, but i did, maybe i deserve everything that happened after

idols love to say that they don’t have time to date, because this is a good way to not disappoint their fans, but there’s always time to date even when you’re a trainee, I started dating secretly with idol 'A' after some time just being friends, it was he who asked me to date him

in the beginning everything was okay, he often gave me expensive gifts which I later found out that he gave me some gifts that he receives from fans, I didn't like it very much because it made me feel uncomfortable, but when I told him that, he said I was being ungrateful

moreover after a while he proved to be very possessive, he didn’t want me to have contact with other men, but he could talk to other girls and I couldn’t complain about that,if i complained he would be mad,he was my first boyfriend and i thought that was how a relationship worked

"nobody can know about us" he said, not even our friends knew, just two of my closest friends, but i understood, it would be bad for both of us if people find about us... foolish of me to think that he would be thinking about what is good to me!

after a while, he started insisting on the idea that we should do something more than just kiss,honestly I wasn't interested I was afraid,if I said I didn't want to,he said I didn't really love him, but I loved him and didn't want him to think otherwise,I did everything he wanted

I feel dirty, I felt that after a while I just became a sex toy for him, he didn't care if I was enjoying it or not, he hurt me physically but said it was normal,so I thought the problem was me
this all happening at the same time that i was going through a bad time in the company

the other trainees were being cruel to me, I don't know if they already suspected my relationship with 'A', but they loved to joke about my appearance, I started to deprive myself of eating, 'A' used to say I was better when I was thinner,

I used to dance without having eaten anything, I danced until I couldn't stand myself anymore

'A' was always busy at the time of comeback so he rarely answered my messages, I understood that he was busy, but he was never understanding with me when I was busy, I should always reply to his messages right away, if not " the things would get bad for me"

as he always wanted me to be available to him, he started saying that I should give up being a trainee, he said that I had no talent for that and I would not be successful, that I should be free for when he wanted me, he did not like to wait

he said this several times, I was not in a good moment, I was in the beginning of depression and anorexia, not having support from my boyfriend for something I wanted so much, made me very upset.. When I complained he acted aggressively

he said he just wanted what is good for me

he seemed to like seeing me in a bad situation, he encouraged me to go without eating, he said that I would be more beautiful
the desire he had for me to leave the trainee's life was not long in coming
I was forced to leave the company for health reasons

even after leaving the company, we continued our relationship, he did not hide his happiness because "now I would always be available to him"

I was destroyed and I couldn't get rid of this relationship
he could be very sweet to me but he was also very aggressive
this is what happens when I say NO to him

my close friend, used to take pictures of my injuries done by him, she said i should break up with him, "i don't believe you like to be beaten", "he treats you like a wh*re", she said things like that, and i didn't understand since I thought it was my fault

when I started dating him I was a minor, my first boyfriend, I didn't know how things worked, I learned the worst way
Do love is like this? That was what i deserved?
everything in my mind said yes

I started this thread the wrong way, but I still have so much to say.
I need to take a deep breath, this is the first time I talk about this openly, it is so hard.
Please read what I said before I don't want to destroy anyone, in this life I will not be able to win

Latest Threads Unrolled: