A couple weeks ago my neighbor’s tree branch that hangs into my yard broke. It fell on my truck I’d bought the week before and took out my power and internet lines

Today I took the truck to the body shop where it’ll be for the week. then I walked a couple miles to the car rental place (I’m not taking Ubers cause of social distancing ground rules I set with my girlfriend)

When I got to the curb kiosk at enterprise I realized I didn’t have my driver’s license. I’d left it in my sweatpants pocket from the night before when I had to show it to a delivery driver for a bottle of wine

I had trouble reaching someone who could come save my silly ass. So after some deliberation I rented a city Metrobike and set off on my 4 mile journey home

The ride was mostly okay despite the usual ash from apocalyptic forest fires, it being largely uphill, Jurassic sized weeds that have taken over during COVID

But then a few blocks from my house I started feeling nauseous from the heat. I tried to make it home but didn’t. I threw up INTO THE MASK STILL ON MY FACE

I heaved a couple more times at the base of a palm tree then made it the end of the way home covered in my vomit

I have showered and taken a nap. Tomorrow is my birthday. This is the last day of MY year.

The egotistical thought crossed my mind that maybe we don’t have to wait until the end of 2020 to start over on this year. We just had to wait until a new year of MY IMPORTANT LIFE WHICH OBVIOUSLY EXISTS AT THE CENTER OF ALL CREATION

And if not, maybe at least I can make you glad you didn’t puke into your mask in broad daylight in public today. Tomorrow’s a new day