Recently after one of my Gospel Mentoring trainings, I was talking with a woman in her 60s. She told me she was struck by one of my questions: "Who was an older woman in your life who pointed you to Christ?"

"No one in my group had an answer," she said.

1/

She continued, "Thinking back, we were taught to grit our teeth and bare anything. We were taught how to be good. We were taught to do the things godly women should do without complaint. No one talked about the gospel. We weren't taught to reach out for help from the church."

2/

"When I think about the marriages that stayed together, the families that were considered a success because they never divorced, but I have friends--who can't even look at their spouse. It's awkward. And somewhere along the line, a decision was made..."

3/

"A decision was made that abuse can be overcome by the works of the wife. A decision was made that disfunction is acceptable. This is normal. Grit your teeth. If you avoid divorce, you're fine. This is marriage." She paused.

4/

"When I think of what Satan stole from these women--from whole families. Defining marriage simply as 'not divorced.' He removed the gospel from our teaching. He removed confession & absolution! They weren't taught that the church is for them too, that Christ is for them too."

5/

"If they had the freedom to ask for help early on, everything would be different. The story you told gave such grace to both the husband and wife to heal with the support of the church, with a firm grasp on truth. In my day, we would have said to her:

6/

'I guess that's the way it is. Work harder." With firm resolve, she said, "We cannot let Satan steal the gospel from our lips ever again. Work harder doesn't work in faith. Faith is a gift. Forgiveness is a gift. We need to teach what that means! Christ is for the broken!"

7/

"We need to keep telling these young women how Christ is for them, and she can depend on him. The church can help. The church should help. This is what we are here for! This is all mind blowing."

60 year old woman.
This is not an uncommon response.

This is why I write.

/end