Listened to @derekwebb's "She Must and Shall Go Free" tonight for the first time in years. This album was instrumental to me in my twenties and, like much of Derek's music, seemed to be the soundtrack to my inner spiritual (and eventually political) struggles.

I haven't listened to it in years because Webb's own views on his beliefs have changed, and I find it hard to reconcile that album with his current songwriting (which often, but not always, still captures many of my own struggles and thoughts).

It's not Derek's fault I haven't listened to it; it's mine. It's a fear that I will listen to it and find it hollow, devoid of the meaning and power I once found in it.

B/c it so deeply syncs with so many of my core beliefs (although the more Reformed sides have left), I didn't want to listen and have it come up empty. I didn't want to listen to "Lover" and find I no longer found Jesus beautiful or hear "Wedding Dress" and be unconvicted.

And yet, I was able to listen and still see the beauty and still feel resonance. Baggage may have shifted over time, but the core is still there and it's beautiful to me.

And regardless of whether Derek still believes the words, the songs are still the songs. He wrote them then, but it still moves me now. And that's the crazy thing about art that makes it a form of magic.

So, thank you, Derek, for an album that changed my life back in 2004 and is just as beautiful today. I needed to hear those words today and find that I can still find meaning in them.