THREAD. This month marks the 12th anniversary of me being in "Serious Quiz". There is no official rulebook the covers all eventualities. But this appears to be the unofficial code.

1. Whenever a Chaser gets a question wrong, tweet to say that you knew the answer. Example "Can't believe the Chaser didn't know the name of the magic dormouse who used to live in Gryffindor"

2. If someone says "Sorry, who is Kanye West?" there's a very good chance they are wearing a Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd T shirt, and are just playing cultural status games.

3. If a female player gets a sports question right it is ok to express shock or say "Good guess"

4. The player who says "I don't do any work, I just pick up knowledge from real life" is also the one who has a mnemonic for list champagne bottle sizes in order

Michael Jordan - really mega successful Brand Nike,

5. Definition of a cheat - Someone who knows something you don't

6. Definition of a twat - Someone who knows something that you don't. And is younger than you.

7. When the above happens, play the theme tune to Crown Court and ask them to name it.

8. A person you like who is good at quiz is a "Brainbox and a Legend" A similar person whom you don't like is a "Smug knowitall Smartarse"

9. In quiz questions about the murder of a solitary person are considered far more distasteful than those about the murder of thousands.

10. When people look at you in shock because you got the Hindu question wrong, just say "Who begat Melzekiohanagah?"

11. When competing against Americans, always remind them that they voted in a vapid, politically naive, superwealthy womanising buffoon of dubious morality and friends. That will give you the intellectual upper hand.