The older I get, the more realize that this thing called TALKING STAGE is more of an emotional fraud and a waste of time. What are we talking for months for? If we both know what we want, why wasting time not defining it?
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It’s a thread: THE TALKING STAGE SCAM!

A lot of people use the TALKING STAGE these days as a way of getting relationship benefits without being committed. That’s why say “let’s go with the flow”. Which flow? Am I an ocean? They want relationship benefits without commitment. Emotional fraud! Selfishness!

If I like you, I’m going straight to the point. Do you like me too? Do you want me? Are you ready to build something serious with me towards marriage? Does our values and purpose match? IF YES, why should we be ‘talking’ for long? Scam!

Some young people say they use the talking stage to get to know their partner. Fair enough. But getting to know someone isn’t always an event of time. This means you can talk for 6 months and know nothing about them if you don’t ask intentional and difficult questions.

Y’all can do video calls for hours, text for hours, but then attachment is different from knowing someone. It’s tricky because we often feel that the more we get attached to them, the mire we know them. FALSE! If you ask the right questions, you’ll know someone in a couple weeks

Now, I understand that people lie but watch out for patterns. I understand that people pretend but they can’t pretend longer than they can be real. Let’s stop wasting our time and go straight to the point. Ain’t nobody got time for this endless talking stages.

Please, define things from the start or people with mess with you. You want a relationship geared to marriage? Tell them from the start that that’s what you’re up for! It is never too deep! If they say you’re too serious so soon, then it’s not that serious for them. Run!

And many times this talking stage is ambiguous — most definitely not exclusive, but y’all are in love, but then not official. What manner of confusion is this? Why are we in love with no sense of definition and direction? Which kind of rough play is that with my heart?

Oh some people be like: “labels don’t matter; let’s focus on what we share.” No dear, labels matter! How am I in something where I can’t call you my partner but I’m rejecting other people for what we share? This is draining! What are we already?!!!

If labels don’t matter like they claim, so why we just have them anyways? Labels matter! Labels define things! And when things are defined, you know how what expectations to have! Labels matter!!!!! Again, what are we?!!!!!!

For me personally, I won’t spend over 4 weeks talking to any woman. That’s the max. We should know what we want from the beginning, and if we connect. What are we waiting for? To know ourselves? With the right basics in place, we have the relationship/marriage to know ourselves.

Some people would say they aren’t ready(and they might never be ready). Why are you not ready? What does readiness mean to you? Cool, you’re not ready. Go get ready and get back to me because I’m not getting roped into a situationship. It’s either in or out, no middle ground!

The talking stage is largely a scam! People know what they want from day one. If they don’t, avoid them. And it’s okay if want to talk for a year sef, I’m just saying that’s not what I want for myself. No, I’m not desperate, I don’t have time and emotions to waste.

If you’re a fan of talking stage. Cool. Asking your fellow ‘talker’ these questions will help:

What do you want?
Do you want me?
Are you ready for something serious with me?
Are we going to be exclusive while talking?
For how long are we talking?
ETC
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DEFINE your talking stage!